Sunday, January 31, 2010
-Baby will arrive Feb 14
-My labor will be 5 hours (please let THAT be true)
-The Beast will weigh 7 pounds, 6 ounces
I'm pretty sure that none of those will come true, but time will tell! The one interesting thing that she said was that when the contractions come, for every one, I just need to say YES! She said that will just help open me up and move things along. Even if I have to shout it, I should shout YES! Considering that I am trying to focus on surrendering to the work my body is doing instead of fighting, I think that this was some good advice and a neat way to look at it. Definitely not the normal conversation with a stranger about being pregnant!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
It's just a normal morning, nothing extraordinary, but I'm feeling just so thankful for our little life. I'm content. With the things we have and the comforts of warm house and food and coffee. But more with the relationships--with my fun and wonderful husband and fun and wonderful son. Even our dog is great. Some days it's easy to enjoy without really thinking much about it, but this morning, I'm aware and watchful and thinking about how grateful I am for the great and wonderful small life God has given us.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sleep Talkin Man: I already posted about this one. Basically just what this one British dude says at night, as transcribed by his wife.
Putting Weird Things in Coffee: Exactly what it sounds like. This person puts odd stuff in coffee and then tries it. Like eggs. And salmon cream cheese.
Overheard in New York: This one is stuff people send in that they've overheard in New York. I love things out of context.
Postcards from Yo Momma: People send in random correspondences from their mothers. I once submitted something and it made it up there. It was awesome. But my Mom didn't like it when I told her.
Passive Aggressive Notes: This is a bunch of photos people compile of passive aggressive or just ridiculous notes and signs. Having seen many such notes in my real life (and maybe having left a few), I love this.
Awkward Family Photos: The title says it all.
The Oatmeal: One guy making odd cartoons to illustrate things like the appeal of Twilight, or the most commonly misspelled words. Odd and very funny.
There are tons more that I enjoy and look at when I need a laugh or just a break from reality. Feel free to share your favorite blogs, whether serious, random, or hilarious. I'm always up for new ways to waste time--er, I mean, have down time.
This time, I definitely want to send announcements. I've been advised that getting this in order (or at least figuring out what you want) before baby helps ensure that you actually send them out once you have baby and have photos. I've done a little online searching but thought I'd ask for suggestions if anyone has a good, AFFORDABLE company to get these cards printed. So far, the best I've found is vistaprint, which offers 10 cards for something like $5. Not too shabby, and the cards are cute. The real start of the show is not the card, but the baby, so I'm okay if they're not the most amazing or original things ever. I just want to actually DO it this time! Let me know if you've good experiences with any particular company!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I've posted a few pictures of Sawyer using his new bicycle that Rob got for him. It's pretty nifty, and Sawyer has enjoyed it, even though he's so short we had to take off the seat. The point of the bike, called a runner, is to help kids learn balance so that they can learn to ride a real bike easier, and without training wheels. It's also a nice step up from a big wheel in that time period before the big boy bike. He took to it really well, but in the last day, really figured it out. The point is for them to push off with their feet, and then to lift their feet and kind of cruise, which is what really helps give them the balance for a real bicycle. Today, to both Rob's and my shock, he totally figured it out. Even without a bicycle seat, even though he's still not even two years old, Sawyer has begun to master the art of bike riding. You only get to see a few seconds of it here, because I was also holding the dog and his leash clotheslined Sawyer just after the video stopped. I saw it coming and was trying to stop it, hence the shortness of the video. Don't worry, he didn't fall off and just kept on going after I untangled him.
Last night, for example, he woke up at 3am. I let him cry for a few minutes, and seeing as he wasn't going back down, I went in. I gave him his bottle, told him I was there and to lie down, but he just got louder and more upset. I finally went back for reinforcements, and literally (I do mean literally, by the way) within 10 seconds of Rob going in there, it was quiet. He came back to bed about two minutes later and I asked, "What the heck did you do?" His answer: "I told him to lie down and that I was there." Funny, that's the same thing I did, but it didn't work.
Tonight, another hissy fit at bedtime. Rob happened to be out, and I felt like Sawyer just needed to cry, since he was being angry and rebellious. He still wasn't asleep when Rob got home, and so Rob went in and started reading to him (he keeps the light off and uses a caving headlamp). Within one minute, silence. Again--didn't I just try that?? Yup. And it didn't work.
Sometimes, there's just something about DADDY.
Some of the time I will tell him, "Don't freak out. Just say, 'mommy, help me.'" But more frequently, I've been saying, "Do you need me to help you?" Apparently enough that he's picked up just the last part of that, which is pretty funny.
The cool thing about him is that he's actually become quite the little helper. Not always, but I've found that now he understands the concept of helping (even if he's still nailing down the vocab). Yesterday, while I was picking up sidewalk chalk, he basically ignored me when I asked him to pick some up. But, when I said, "Sawyer, help me! Help me!" he ran right over and picked up every bit of chalk. Just one more thing to add to my Mommy bag of tricks.
Saturday, January 30
2505 Ella Blvd
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
First, he pooped in the bathtub with Rob, which resulted in draining the tub and then taking a SECOND bath to clean up. Next he did a regular old cloth diaper poop with me, and since it was during breakfast and he was super messy from that, I let him bathe in the kitchen sink, where he pooped AGAIN. He did try to warn me though, but I never know when he's saying "poop" if he means he's about to go, he did go, or if he just felt like saying it. Now I know.
There were a few more regular kinds, and then one really gross poop-related moment near the end of the day. I had shaken out the cloth diaper with poo in it into our bushes (the green people have to love that!) and stuck it in the bag that I keep the diapers in until washing. It was hanging on the back of the doorknob, and before I realized what was happening, Sawyer had reached in (this one is drawstring, not zip--always go for the zip), taken out the insert, and was using it to wipe his nose. GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! Thankfully, the afternoon and evening were poop-free. I really needed a break after that.
But I digress. I wanted to talk about Sawyer, and how much I am enjoying these last weeks with him before the Beast arrives. Tonight, we snuggled on the couch with my super comfy Urban Outfitters zebra blanket that I've had for years, watching American Idol and eating Chex Mix out of the bag. I know that he's not even two yet, but Sawyer really does have a personality that makes him someone I can hang out with. We had fun, feeding each other Chex and yay-ing or boo-ing the singing hopefuls. Mostly Sawyer boos, probably because he knows it makes me laugh.
There are times where he makes me nuts, like bedtime tonight, which I won't even get into, or when he has to be busy-busy-busy at the times when I feel like collapsing on the couch. But so much of the time, I actually enjoy him. We hang out. We have fun. (And please do not read into this that I am one of those parents that sees their kids as friends rather than children--I am very aware of the authority structure in our relationship and so is he.) I don't know how all this will change with the Beast, or how the Beast will be compared to Sawyer in terms of personality. I'm definitely looking forward to the expansion of our family, but I am also relishing every moment I get like tonight with Sawyer.
After a long, full day of school and playing with cousins, Rob put him down around 7:30 or 8pm. By 11, he'd already woken up twice. It's funny as a parent how you can sort of feel out the reasons, at least to some degree, or rule some things out. He didn't want to get up and play and was still super tired, but at the same time, couldn't seem to stop crying, and when I picked him up, he really clung to me. All signs of not feeling good.
So after the second time, I decided that rather than risk having to get up every hour, we'd bring him into bed with us. He went to sleep really easily and stayed asleep all night, which was wonderful. He definitely gets his sleep habits from Rob. I was warned to watch out before I got married because he might accidentally maim me in the night with all his thrashing. I feel I've gotten off lucky with only one punch to the face. Sawyer slept mostly upside down, with his feet up on a pillow on and his head on Rob's legs. But he shifted and moved and wiggled around maybe every hour. So not the best sleep for me, but still preferable to getting up twenty times. The biggest downside was that he woke up--and I mean WOKE UP--at 5am. It's not Tuesday, and I'm not ashamed to confess I put on a movie and went to sleep on the couch while he watched and played. Today is definitely a survival day, though we've had a nice morning, and Rob got up at 7 so I could have a brief nap. Let's just hope that little man gets over this whatever so that he can sleep through the night again. I miss that, and I know our time for that is really short...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
So. Today's confession: At our house, we eat food off the floor. Or the driveway. Or, if it happens to fall there, a parking lot. This should tell you a lot about my lack of germ fears. Especially since I really don't clean my floors very often. I kind of feel like it helps boost my immunity and Sawyer's. We are not, after all, sick very much.
How much respect did I just lose?
I think that about summed up last night's requests. What he got instead was Mommy holding him tight and rocking him back to sleep. He didn't ask for anything else, so I guess Mommy trumps everything else? YES!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I am cheap. And since several friends of mine attended a coupon class in the fall, hearing about their constant savings of $50-100 each time they go to the grocery store has given me pause. If I am as much of a bargain hunter as I claim, I cannot continue to ignore coupons. Especially when I love food and constantly feel like the grocery bill is one place I cannot seem to save money or skimp, even if I'm buying only the sale items.
There is a trick to coupon-ing. Or, maybe several. I'm not sure. But I am about to find out, as I plan to take a coupon class held by these same friends in Houston. I wanted to post the information, so that if you're as intrigued as I am about how you can save bunches of money in some secret coupon fashion, then check out the info on these classes! If you want to sign up, click here and check out the sidebar. Here is the information, and I'll be sure to post my thoughts after I attend. Each class is limited to 10 people, so sign up quickly!
You want to have your house clean and ready, for things to be in order. You want to have what this new little person will need and want, and you can only really make guesses as to what those things are. You want to have your heart prepared for their imminent arrival, and also to enjoy every moment of the time before they come. You want everything to be perfect. You want to be ready.
You can't wait.
-play Wordscraper on facebook
-eat a breadbowl (without the soup in it)
-listen to fun, new music
-write in your pregnancy journal
-respond to emails long overdue
-read back through what you were doing at this time in your LAST pregnancy
-re-read your birth story
-go back to bed
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Now we have moths in our pantry, which someone told me are breeding in our old flour or somewhere. But I cleaned the pantry this week and couldn't find any sign of them--grr. So I kill about five a day and can't find the source. I'm am so OVER having creatures in my house. Especially with a new baby coming--it would nice to be creature-free. Sigh.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Now it's less the relationship with Rob that will change, though it will too, but the one with Sawyer. He's had almost two years as the only child, getting all of our love and attention. He hasn't had to share, except with cousins and friends for temporary periods of times. That applies to toys and also things like Mommy's lap. We've had a great time with him, and now every time I put him to bed, I relish it, knowing that it may be one of the last times I put him to bed as my only child. I know it will be a hard adjustment for him at firs,t and I feel for him, since he won't fully understand. But I do believe that it will be a blessing and a change that will ultimately be a great thing--in the same way that having him changed Rob and I for the better. I know these last times are precious, but the first ones will be, too.
Recently, as we were cleaning out things in our house, we found my old Lincoln Logs. They are true children of the 80s. (I'm a child of 1977--the year of Jaws and Star Wars, which explains a lot about me.) Sawyer and Rob sat down in little chairs at the train table for some play time. Sawyer thought they were drumsticks, but Rob taught him the ways of log-cabin-building. Sawyer still preferred the drumsticks.
The weather outside is FINALLY back to Texas weather. 70 or so degrees, sunny. Lovely. The hard part is that I need to be kind of taking it easy for the next day or so, and it's otherwise very hard to keep up with my little man outside. Thankfully Robbie was home, so after he took the boys around the whole block with the bicycle ("Our speed was 1/2 mile per hour," he said), we all hung out in the front yard putting leaves into bags and playing. (Thanks Sandi and Kevin and Colin for raking!) I even got to use the blower! Lots of fun.
This week I have not felt like myself. I don't know if I'm just tired in the third-trimester woes, or a little under the weather, but I have felt super grumpy and tired and just kind of eh. And after Cathy checked me, I'm aware of the fact that I have progressed. Yes, I could stay this way for another month. But I also could be moving towards meeting the Beast. That's the thing with labor--you just don't know until you KNOW. Which involves waiting.
Yesterday I felt icky all day--tired and grumpy and needing a nap. The fact that I needed a nap tells you something--I hate naps. Contractions actually woke me up from the nap, and I was feeling crampy and headachey too. I skipped out on my niece's birthday party because of this, and took a hot lavender bath with a small glass of wine because I was having a lot of contractions. That was relaxing, but here's my contraction count later that night:
See? That's a lot. None were hard enough that I had to stop what I was doing or anything and they were hard to pay attention to because they were just tightenings, really. But when you really want a home birth and are a few days away from the date you need, it gives you pause. Especially since I wasn't doing anything at this point, just sitting or lying down, and it was AFTER the relaxing bath. The problem, again, is that you just don't KNOW until you KNOW. So it was a matter of waiting.
I left a message with my midwife letting her know what was going on and that I hoped they would fizzle out. I warned my parents, since they're not here and would have to jump on a plane. I washed baby clothes, just in case, so that now they're all ready and folded under the bassinet we're borrowing from our friendly neighbor. (Okay, they're halfway folded and I'll put them away when I post this.) We watched Conan and went to bed. I didn't sleep well--dreams and needing to pee and contractions kept waking me, and I felt pretty nauseous all night. A heating pad on my back helped me sleep, at least until Sawyer, who has a sudden cough (and threw up in the kitchen floor this morning), woke me up at 6ish. Groan.
So I made it through the night and still don't feel like myself, but am not having any stronger contractions, so am just trying to take it easy and wait it out. It gets so hard at this point--I could have the baby tomorrow or in a month. You just don't know. Until you DO. Isn't that the deepest of deep thoughts? I feel very peaceful, but this is when the waiting really sets in and let's be honest--who's really good at waiting??
Thursday, January 21, 2010
When you add those annoying little plastic tabs that anchor socks together in a pack, it is very difficult for the consumer to remove these without damaging the product. For example, the baby socks that I unwrapped to wash for the first time today are now unravelling. You may consider saving yourself the cost, the environment the waste, and me the headache of trying to undo these plastic tab things. I do not like them.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Even the cravings are less. I mean, sure, there are times where I really want things, but I love food, so I kind of really want things a lot when I'm NOT pregnant too. Feeling like a carton of ice cream is not unusual for me in general. So most of the things I've wanted up until now are just normal ME things, I think.
But now we're in the third trimester. I remember with Sawyer, I went crazy for red meat. I ate hamburgers maybe every day or every other day for the last two or three weeks. For some people this might be normal. But Rob and I always joke (but it's not a joke) that I only eat one hamburger a year. Most of the time I think they're gross. And if I DO eat them, they must be GOOD. Rob makes the best homemade hamburgers in the world, and I loved them topped with things like sauteed mushrooms and avocados. I ate a few from Sweet Mesquite, which is very close, but would never have considered ordering something from a fast food place--that's not real meat.
The weird cravings have started to set in! Definitely red meat, as I bought a five pound tube of it the other week and cooked tons of things for now and for freezing. No burgers, though, and I'm regretting that, so I foresee burgers in the near future. Last week I cooked and ate an entire BAG of frozen broccoli for dinner. And I've been on a fresh green bean kick--mmm! I've also been gaga over fruit. Normal I like fruit, but I almost never think to buy it at the store because I don't miss it if it's not here. This week at HEB I had a love affair in the produce aisle. There were green things I saw that I couldn't even identify that I wanted to pick up and eat raw. And I really had to stop myself from cleaning out the fruit--the price of fresh fruit stopped me.
Forget cake and ice cream--bring on the red meat and produce!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The closet in what will be Sawyer's big boy room now has a lot of empty space in it, ready for his clothes and whatever else. Now we just need a rug in that room and something to block him from climbing up to the top bunk (he can do this even without the ladder) and we'll be all set for that to be a play room! Next room up: the guest room. The room itself is okay (except for my bookshelves which I will happily ignore for now) but the closet has become a place where we throw things that we don't know what else to do with. So next chance I get, I'll be climbing in there and figuring out what all that stuff is, if we need to keep it, and how it can be stored in a better way.
Meanwhile, Rob has been doing a fantastic job organizing all of the stuff from our outside room as he preps to tile the floor and finish the walls. There is a bonus of storage space above that room in the garage, so I helped organize things into tubs so that he could hoist them up there. We are really starting to be organized and it's such a great feeling!
Now, as for the prize...The winner will receive 100 free 4X6 digital prints from Snapfish, redeemable via gift card. If you haven't used Snapfish, it's another online site like Flickr or Shutterfly where you can upload your photos and have them printed, or do otherwise fun things with them. You win the Baby Drop, and you will have 100 free prints--yippee! So go enter already!
Today's confession: I almost always drive while on the phone. (Peter, I'm sure you'll be the first one to call or comment on this.) I know I've read and heard statistics about how horrible this is. As bad as driving drunk, according to some study. Apparently. And maybe I'm on planet crazy, but I feel like sometimes I drive better when I'm on the phone, because I'm aware of the fact that I'm on the phone. So I check my mirrors more, I look around more carefully, because I know it's supposed to make me LESS aware. I overcompensate. Of course, I may think that's how I'm driving while in reality I am driving like a maniac, but I honestly don't think that's the case. It's just so easy to use that time in the car (which is a lot in a city like Houston) to get something else done, like a phone call to catch up with a friend.
I know I'm not alone, but I'm also fully prepared to be reprimanded. Go ahead. Tell me I'm being naive to think that other people are worse drivers while on the phone, but I'm the exception.
-Sobe LifeWater: I love this stuff! But man, do I hate their site. Basically, this is water pumped full of vitamins and minerals, and some nice fruity taste without all the sugar. Great to have along with plain old water.
-Quiche: I heart quiche. It's a great and quick meal for the birth team and for me, and can be breakfast, lunch or dinner. (At least in my book.)
-Zone bars: These are my favorite of the snack-type bars. The Zone diet tries to balance fats, proteins and carbs in the perfect proportion, and the bars taste great. Rob and I love the chocolate mint.
-Popsicles: During Sawyer's labor, I remember someone had to run out and get some of these, so I'll make sure we have them on hand this time. Easy to ingest and digest, they're good for just having some calories and adding hydration.
Last time I was not really wanting any food at all, but I want to be prepared in case. These are all things I think I'd like to have around, but we'll see what I actually want to eat, and if I do. Either way, I'd like to start stocking up. We're moving into nesting overdrive, people!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Rob has deemed this the Man Room, and it will have his giant cuddlebag (think bean bag made with memory foam), our surround sound system, and a TV. I'm happy to get those things out of the house, and would love to also see it be a great space for doing things like crafts and for keeping things that I don't want in our actual house. Depending on how the weather is, it may also function as a guest room. The futon, which needs a new cover desperately, is actually a very comfortable sleeping space, as it has a very thick cushion closer to that of a real mattress. I applaud you, boys, for your hard work and can't wait to post finished pictures! Let's hope they can beat the Beast...
Not to be confused with Mom Jeans. Sawyer definitely got my tongue. He doesn't stick it out all the way very often, but when he does, it's a little scary. This is not fully all the way, just so you know. Yeah, he's my kid.
SO. Here's how this works! For the next week (until Monday, Jan 25), I will allow comments posted here on this entry for the Baby Drop. You must guess the date, time and sex of the baby. We'll go by the date and time moreso than the sex, but it will be interesting to see if someone gets ALL of them close. You can guess the same day as another person, and whoever is the closest time without going over (Price Is Right style) will be the winner. So read the comments before to make sure you're not duplicating. I don't know what the prize will be yet, but suffice to say, it will be good. Please make sure that there is an email address or link to your profile where I can contact you if you win.
Starting tonight! Post your guess here in the comments to win a great prize and the bragging rights!! My due date is officially (I think) the 21st of February. There are no signs that I am further along than I should be at this point, though the baby is low. The head is down, but not engaged, for whatever that's worth to your guess. Good luck to you all, and I will post reminders and the prize once I figure out what is deserving.
As far as labor and birth go, I am in the throes of reading tons of stuff, doing birth exercises, and taking all kinds of crazy supplements. (Probably all that can go in a post of its own...) I am realizing the worries and fears I have about this birth, based mostly on my last birth, and trying to wrestle with them in a way that's healthy. I think realizing the fears and confronting them is the best way to deal with them, rather than to ignore, so that's what I'm working on right now. I'm also taking time this week to read up and find new verses for labor that I can read or Rob can read to me as comfort and reminders. As for other books, I'm re-reading my Bradley course book and Birthing from Within, plus a book on back labor Cathy gave me, since Sawyer was posterior for most of labor and this baby is STILL posterior.
The after labor part is even harder to prepare for. You don't know what's going to happen in labor, so for me it's just kind of thinking through possibilities. There are many. But there are so many more possibilities as far as what this baby will be like and how things will change, that you really CAN'T hash it out in your mind. I feel freaked out that there is this great unknown lurking and waiting for us. And it happens so suddenly! Yes, pregnancy is a long time. Yes, labor and birth can take some time. But you still go from one minute not having a baby in your arms, to the next minute having one. That is just NUTS!
So I'm taking some quiet time tonight with a cup of coffee, some labor books, my journal, my Bible, and my computer, and trying to mentally sift through everything. It's a wild and weird time--and the clock is WINDING DOWN. We will soon be meeting our baby. That is NUTS!!!
In case you are unsure what the problem is, there has been a rash increase in the usage of the word "literally." When you say that something is literally true, you mean that it is realistically and actually true. Usually, when people employ this word, they mean figuratively--as in, it's LIKE I'm on fire; I'm not actually BURNING. But it sounds better to say, "I am about to drop dead, LITERALLY," than to say, "I am about to drop dead, FIGURATIVELY." With the first, you'll get head nods and holla's. With the second, people will wonder what weird, nerdy planet you LITERALLY just came from.
This post has nothing to do with babies or mommies or anything that is usually relevant to my blog. I just thought you needed to know. (Literally.)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
While Sawyer doesn't like meals, he does like sweets. We don't really keep them in the house very much (or else I eat them ALL), so his treats are few and far between. When I do make cookies or goodies, as I did for tonight's Houston Roller Derby bout, he always gets a taste. As you can see here, the icing on the cookie was just a little too runny. But Sawyer didn't seem to mind. I love his icing goatee!
I've been trying different methods, but there is nothing consistent I can do, it seems, to get him eating. A lot of times he'll eat more at other people's houses, even if it's the same thing we eat at home, and at restaurants--though that only really applies to beans and salsa at Los Cucos. He actually drank their salsa last time we were there. I've tried making the kinds of things he likes eating other places if they're different from home, but no luck. I've tried feeding him one type of item at a time, rather than loading his plate or high chair tray with a variety of things. Sometimes works, sometimes not. He often will want to eat what we're eating, but if I just try and fix him lasagna if that's what we're eating, it's a no go. It's only if we're eating it and he's not, apparently. Then there's the thing he does where he loves loves LOVES something one day and then the next won't touch it. It's like you need to wait three weeks after he eats something to serve it again. Not super practical. He also hates being confined, so the high chair really ticks him off, but he makes an enormous mess if I sit him in the little chair and table, so it's hard to want to scrub up after every meal. (This is why we're glad for you, Tex!!) Sometimes what works is basically throwing food at him while he's running by playing, but this isn't super practical either.
Some days, I feel like he eats only 50 calories. I wonder how he survives, and how he doesn't look emaciated. I mean, he's got no fat on him, but I don't think he looks like he's starving either. I know other people whose kids were like this and they survived, but some days it's frustrating to feel like your child needs to eat more. You can only do so much! Any other creative ideas (though I bet we've tried most of them) are welcome!!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
, originally uploaded by Kiki Mojo.
Today Sawyer's early birthday/late Christmas present arrived. Rob found this really cool balance-riding bike, designed for those too young for pedals. It's called a balance bike and teaches kids (surprise!) balance and helps prepare them for real bikes. Sawyer's in love! Check out more pics on flickr and a cute video below.
Thanks to Rob, I'm getting to experience this lovely idea firsthand. We had breakfast together and I stayed around for the putting-together of Sawyer's new bicycle (pictures and maybe video later today), and then hit the road. I went to Target to finally buy this set of Gilligan & O'Malley pajamas I've been thinking about for the last month. I am a bargain shopper deep within my bones, and the pajamas aren't over-priced, but they're out of my usual $5-10 range that I strive for. But, after seeing this great top/nightgown, I could not stop thinking about it. The fabric is what gets me--so soft and stretchy and heavenly. I could actually tell by feel the things that belonged to this line and the others in the pajama section. (And yes, I did touch EVERYTHING. I'm a consumer. It's my right.) If you want to see what I got, you can click here. I also got some super soft black pajama pants, but you don't need a link for that. I'm super excited. Have I mentioned that being pregnant and/or having a small baby means I wear lots of pjs?
Next it was off to my favorite sushi place, Sushi Hana in Katy. You won't find spam rolls on this menu, unlike the place I tried near me a month ago. For $15 including tip, I got tea, soup, vegetables tempura, and a crunchy snow crab roll. It was a lovely, lovely lunch. Now I'm at Borders and hope to get some writing done. But if I don't--this is my day off, so I will just browse around and look at books. Without feeling guilty at ALL.
All this may not sound too exciting to you, but this is like a dream day for me! At least, a dream day alone. I would love to be having a dream day alone with Robbie, but hopefully we'll get a few good dates in before the Beast. Know what else? I miss my boys and am looking forward to seeing them in a few hours. The benefits of the day off are already apparent.
Friday, January 15, 2010
I'm sure this post will result in another phone call from my Dad who keeps calling to make sure that I'm not going over the edge. I think I've been complaining a bit too much about the weather and pregnancy? I am okay, Daddy, promise! (And I do appreciate the calls.) But there are a lot of things happening at once right now--I'm at that point of super discomfort in pregnancy, where in addition to my body being out of control, my hormones are surging. And Sawyer has been doing weird things this week--not sleeping long enough during naps, just generally being into things he shouldn't, or being needy at the exact moment when I have to get something out of the oven or something.
So today, after he dumped the entire dinner I made for him into his lap on purpose because he wasn't in the mood (I guess), I did throw a plate. A small, blue plastic one that still had a black bean on it. Thankfully, no one else was in the kitchen and had to be subject to this, save the microwave, which is stainless steel and will, I think, be okay. It wasn't as satisfying as hearing the crash of something breaking, but then--I wasn't all THAT upset. I just needed to vent a little. Maybe I'll do like a rating system of meltdowns: Plastic Plate being a small meltdown, Good China being a full-scale, crying in the floor meltdown.
Tomorrow Rob is giving me time off--as much as I need, he says. That may help refresh me a little. I'm okay. I will be okay. It's just not the easiest time right now. I think really, the way to sum it all up is said best by that girl-who-doesn't-even-go-here in Mean Girls: I just have a lot of feelings.
Other things are getting more difficult too:
-walking into my closet
-putting Sawyer in his crib
-driving (I have to move the seat back, but then it's hard to get my feet on the pedals)
We are so close though! I am moving into a weird period where I'm almost in denial. We're really having a baby? Really?? I just can't imagine it. It's crazy! I'm definitely tired of being pregnant, but I'm freaked out about actually having another baby. AAAAHHHHH!
Today was gross and rainy and ruined our plans to go to the dog track and beach. Sigh. I really am hating the weather this winter! At least it's not 30 degrees...but I digress. Rob had a great idea of heading over to the McDonalds with a giant play land for lunch and fun. I ate lunch at home and met them there, as I am just not a McDonalds lover. Sawyer and Rob had a great time in the giant play land and I enjoyed watching Daddy and son playtime, while stealing all the french fries no one else was eating. Oops! Click on the link under the picture to see more!
Anyone remember that scene, where Garth gets his hair sucked into some machine that resembles a vacuum but is intended for hair? This is an actual vacuum, but it worked pretty well with Sawyer's hair and definitely didn't rip any out, which is a good thing. There are a few more cute pics of Rob doing his vacuum hair-stylings, and I think you can see them if you click on the info below the photo.
Letting the kids watch TV. Long night with the baby.
Everyone got up at 5:45. Hope I don't fall asleep on my date today.
Wishes my kid would go back to getting up at 7 instead of 5.
There are times where, as a mother, you feel like a real success. You're DOING something. You're pouring all you have into this little person (or people) and it's rewarding and fun and you are aware of how unique and wonderful this is. And then there are the times that you're just SURVIVING.
Sometimes it's about succeeding, and sometimes just surviving. Getting through that day, keeping everyone alive and trying to maintain your sanity. Keeping the kids fed and clothed and generally content and unharmed. I'm not sure what this balance is for other moms, but I think especially when you have very little ones, or one or two bigger and one very little one, there are many more days that feel like just making it through. The gift then, maybe, is those days (which sometimes seem more rare) where you really do feel like a success. There's the joy and the validation and the sense of accomplishment and purpose.
And sure, there are lots of days in between, that aren't so extreme as being really proud or just eking through. You're in the middle somewhere in the normal days, or maybe you survive a few moments and succeed the next. The thing is, though, that even the surviving IS succeeding. It just doesn't FEEL as good as the days where you can actually see the fruit of your labor. I think we'd all be a better off as moms if we realized that even the days that feel like just survival are actually successes in themselves. You kept your child alive--good job! And chances are, they're not going to remember that morning when you felt like death and plopped them in front of the TV with a donut so you could sleep on the couch or cry into your coffee.
So celebrate at the end of the day, Moms! No matter what kind of day you had. Because each day, you are DOING this thing called being a Mom.