The past week or so has been really hard with Sawyer. I am so glad that I got great reports from his VBS teachers, so I can remind myself of that when he is being a holy terror at home. The latest thing he is doing is peeing in the floor. On purpose. When he's mad.
Defiant urination, indeed.
I'm not sure where this started, really, but he has had at least one incident a day of peeing in the floor. Yesterday it was during nap time. And then again out on the back patio when I was about to leave for derby. He did it two nights ago in the floor of our TV room while watching a movie, then jumped back up on the couch with a sly smile. It's making me crazy.
Not only am I cleaning tons of pee off of clothes and carpets, but just WHY?!? I totally believe that children are born with a sinful nature. And if you're thinking, oh no--they're innocent! you are right and wrong about that. They are innocent in the ways of evil, but total experts in the NATURE of it. As in, they don't know about genocide or plots to take over the world or rob a bank, but they are versed in the ways of being selfish, which is really the boiled down bare bones of sin. In the garden, Adam and Eve chose their way over God's way--sin is essentially choosing your way above all others. With that in mind, I know that Sawyer is expressing that selfish nature. As to why he is feeling like peeing on the floor, or what is motivating that, I'm not sure.
Kids go in cycles, it seems. With everything from eating to sleeping to behavior. We are in a bad cycle with behavior, as Saw is being mean to Lincoln, sassing us, and peeing on the carpet. I'm again in a discipline-weary time. But I am pressing on in disciplining and praying for help and wisdom and for God to really work on that tiny, selfish heart in the same way I'm asking him to work on my own full-grown, selfish heart. It's hard.
Thankfully, there are great moments like this to keep me going. The other night, I had put Saw in the tub and was sitting in the bathroom, drinking coffee and watching him play. In the middle of playing, he looked at me and said, "Mommy, I LIKE you." It's not love, but I'll take like. I'll take anything other than pee on the carpet.