For probably an hour, Rob was Monster. Growling and roaring through the playscape, he had kids squealing in delight and surrounding him en masse. When we left, a group of kids followed him to the gate, saying, "Don't go! One more time, please?"
I love watching Rob play. There is something infectious about him as a person. A small example, but no accident: he was voted Prom King and Class Favorite in high school. He has that kind of charisma that draws people in, young and old alike. Whether at a playground or our house gathered with all the cousins, Rob becomes the center of the game. He creates the game, just by his presence, and has so much joy in making the kids laugh. I'm not sure who enjoys it more--Rob or the kids.
While children on the playground come running to play with Rob, the parents are a mixed bag. Many smile and laugh or, as the security officer in the mall did, they will approach me and comment on how fun it is to watch him play with all the kids.
Then there are the other parents. The ones who scowl from their seats or watch with narrowed eyes. Some parents just don't like chasing games, even on a playground where kids are, by definition, supposed to play. But I know that there are others who disapprove simply because Rob is a man, playing with kids.
It's a sad fact of today, but there is a real fear and concern when it comes to men and children. Especially strangers. People have a distrust and a clear wariness, not without reason. Turn on the news and you'll see the cause for this concern. As a wife, I am so proud of my husband and the way he doesn't just spend time with our kids, but is willing to bring that joy to random kids on the playground, or our neighbors outside in the yard. But I have to hold myself back on the playground from running around reassuring the other parents who are fearful or have misgivings.
It hurts me to know that parents might be creeped out--and yet I understand it. Even Rob is aware of this, and I can see how he tries to play and present himself in a way that's clearly friendly, not sketchy. Still we both know that the worry exists. I wish we weren't in a world where people have to fear for their children this way. But the reality is: we do.
Is there room in our culture for a man to play with kids on the playground? As a parent, would you be creeped out by this, or love seeing a happy father including other kids in play?
There is something wrong with "them", not you or Rob. There is a great book called The Gift of Fear and this would be a perfect example for that book. People are so inundated with things to be afraid of that they no longer can decide which are real and which are not. I too have felt the concern when my son goes to a new friend's house and that twinge of fear creeps in, hoping the kid's dad isn't that Dateline kind of friend's dad. What Rob is doing is awesome and wonderful and the kids, yours and the others, are so lucky. In a day and age when so many people head to the park and then text the whole time, how lucky are they all to have an adult with energy to show them how to PLAY! If Rob went alone to the park to play....alarms bells. If he took random kids aside where no one could see...alarm bells. But to have alarm bells because he actually play with the kids while the actual parents sit and watch - ha! Don't sweat it and don't let them see you sweat it :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it crazy how the times have changed? I remember being out till dark playing until my mom would call us in for dinner. You'd play at the park with Dads with no weird looks on their faces. Now, everything is seen differently. I think sometimes we should go back to the way things were, this is one of those times!
ReplyDeletenot weird since your kids are there playing beside him. i wonder sometimes if the disapproval comes from running around and making loud noises than from having rob playing with them.
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