Literally and, maybe, figuratively.
I hit the Take Care Clinic at Walgreens to get a strep test this afternoon. If you've never used one before, they are pretty convenient (though I do start to buy too many things in Walgreens while waiting) and fast and cheap-ish. At least, my co-pay is cheap. I'm sure we'll get some bill later on. In any case, I failed the strep test. Meaning: not strep.
My ears, though, looked slightly irritated and there is a lot of drainage going on in the back of my throat. She used the word drainage a LOT. It is a disgusting word. I feel disgusting, so it's probably apt. She sent me out with a whole array of drug prescriptions and I was off to Kroger to pick them up.
While in Kroger, I shopped clearance tables (and got an enormous bounty of organic stuff for only $30) and then wandered around in produce. A man motored by me in one of those carts for the disabled, though he didn't look disabled. He stopped in front of me and said, in a lovely Jamaican accent, "Excuse me. I'm looking for a date." Then he gestured to his cart and said, "And I have a ride."
I DID look hot...but only because I still have a fever. I told him I had a virus, laughed and tried to walk away. He motored behind me and said, "That's okay--I have the cure." I walked a bit faster and then he started talking louder until I finally turned back around, expecting another pick-me-up. But no: he really DID have the cure. Apparently, if I drink a glass of water with the juice of one lemon and a teaspoon of cayenne, I will be cured of anything by morning.
I have taken my steroid ear drops, the nasal spray, and used my inhaler, but now am sipping the lemon/water/cayenne--which I made with 1/8 a teaspoon of cayenne. This dude must be insane because any more cayenne than this in one glass of water might kill someone.
It's good to know that even on a day when I feel and look terrible, men in motorized carts find me irresistible.