Monday, October 15, 2012

If Real Life Were Like Pinterest

BannerFans.com


I could pair skinny jeans with the perfect fall boot.


My hair would always be in perfectly messy braids, or wind-tossed curls.


Most of the furniture in my home would be handmade from repurposed and reclaimed wood.


My pillows and curtains would all be chevron.  Oh, and I'd have curtains.


I would swim in a sea of printables. 


My homemade cakes and cookies would put bakeries out of business.

I could eat those cakes and cookies and still wear my skinny jeans.


I would know the right camera settings for every kind of light.


A scarf would be part of daily wear.  Usually, it would be a scarf I made, probably from a T-shirt.


I would know how to make all of my own cleaning products. They would all be environmentally friendly and contain items I have at home.


My crock pot would be in constant use, making gourmet, non-crock pot meals. 


All important messages could be written on things I have painted with chalkboard paint.


I would know the ten most important things to say to my loved ones daily.  I would say them.


My fireplace mantle would be decorated for each season and holiday.  Sometimes just for Mondays in November.


I would own two Expedit bookshelves.  One as is, and one that I've hacked to look like an antique dresser. 


The greater part of every day would be spent doing learning activities with my children.  When I'm not baking.


 I would sew my own clothes, mostly from old T-shirts. 


I would know the gluten-free or paleo version of all my favorite foods. 


My home would be decorated with crafts I made with things like toilet paper rolls, coffee filters, and empty coffee cans.


I know how to apply eyeliner for day and eyeliner for night. I would know there is a difference.


My nails would not only be painted, but they would feature a design or a gradient of color.


The only bread in my kitchen would be homemade without a breadmaker.
 

I would wear outfits, not clothes.


Using only five simple moves at home, I would have sculpted abs.  Even when pregnant.

When pregnant, I would always look peaceful and beautiful. 


Cauliflower would replace potatoes and pizza dough, and the boys in my house wouldn't notice.
 
Potatoes would be used only for stamping.  Unless they are sweet potatoes.  Then they will be eaten with every meal in some capacity.


Tables and beds and end tables would be made from wooden pallets.  Coffee tables and shelves from wooden crates.


A little spray paint could fix anything. 


And...I could wear skinny jeans.

[Did I miss anything?  Add in the comments.]

31 comments:

  1. This made me giggle. If only...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is a large gap between my real life and Pinterest...

      Delete
  2. I think this is why I don't go on Pinterest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But it's SO PRETTY! And delicious. Come on in, the water's fine...

      Delete
  3. Ha ha don't get me started on the make believe world of Pinterest. I think that's why it's so great. It's like a picture book for grown ups with fairy tales, happy endings, and big beautiful images.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to be really into celebrity gossip sites, and I think the basic reasoning is the same: it's all the pretty people/things! But at least Pinterest might inspire me to do things while celebrity gossip only inspires me to drink a lot, crash rented cars, steal fur coats from people in clubs, and a few other things I learned from Lindsay Lohan. :)

      Delete
  4. I LOVE THIS! And yes the all caps is necessary.
    Brilliant post. I'm sharing this on my FB Page.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing!! Glad you liked it. I think we're all thinking it, though I know some women CAN actually pull of skinny jeans. :)

      Delete
  5. Whenever I'm on there (way too often) I repin everything saying, when I grow up i'll do that oooh and that too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone has a sort of caveat "when I _____, then I'll _____." My sis in law has a board that is called "I Did It" (or something similar) where she pins the things she has tried. Good idea, right? I've done a few things, but mostly get inspired and just like looking at all the pretty stuff. Then I look at my messy house and me in my pjs...

      Delete
  6. Oh my gosh, so true.....

    This is why we love Pinterest so much.

    Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally love it too. It's so...pretty.

      Delete
  7. You forgot to make planters out of everything like old boots..

    I love this, and I wish I was more like pintrest. and that I could wear skinny jeans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And old tires! I think I've pinned a tire planter.

      Delete
  8. Hilarious! Thanks for the giggle!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This just made my morning!! I especially love the fireplace mantel decoration part- "Sometimes just for Mondays in November." You can't forget the looks like $50,000 wedding that you had, that you really just DIYed for about $250.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes-- there is the weird discrepancy between all the DIY stuff and all the homes and things that are so elegant and expensive.

      Delete
  10. And every single recipe has only 2 weight watchers points!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find that there is this weird extreme with the foods. They are all either 1. fully fat and taste amazing 2. paleo 3. gluten free 4. vegan 5. diet. I guess maybe that just means that the foods go across the boards, but it seems kind of wild to me that there are no normal foods. Everything is tasty and/or special diet/crock pot/etc.

      Delete
  11. This is hilarious :) I am one of the make her own laundry detergent and bread people but my nails are never painted, I don't own skinny jeans, and although I have collected a box of toilet paper tubes nothing has been done with them.(PS I love my crockpot which is currently cooking applesauce) Alas all my food photos on my blog look like they were taken with a cell phone bc I don't ever have time to both cook a meal & professionally photograph it while the rugrats play at my feet.
    If real life were like Pinterest I'd have botulism from all the incorrect canning instructions from novice mason jar lovers, I'd be crocheting a sweater for "the cutest bunny" I ever saw, and I would be waiting until the OPTIMUM time to post on a social network from some infographic to put up this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ba ha ha! Yes, I should have really checked before posting this to get the most shares and traffic. Just saw that one this week. I have not yet seen crocheted bunny outfits, but I'm sure they are there! I also make laundry detergent, though I didn't get the recipe via Pinterest. And I can't even take a photo of my feet for the sad state of my cracked toenail polish from two months ago!

    ReplyDelete
  13. And all my furniture and garden decor (I would have garden decor) would be made from recycled wooden pallets. Where do they find all of those, anyway?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I see a lot of them outside of buildings, but I don't know if they are free for the taking or if it's stealing. Also, my hubby has put a limit on the number of large "projects" I can have sitting out behind the garage at a time.

      Delete
  14. My entire home would be decorated in book page wreaths and homemade iron-on wall stencils.

    I would grow all my own food... most of which in some sort of hanging apparatus made from old pop bottles or dollar store shoe racks.

    I would be the STAR of every school fundraising bake sale and craft fair.

    I would need an entire room to store all the clothespins, toilet paper rolls, old t-shirts, burlap, old books, shoe boxes, and baby cribs needed to make gifts for everyone I'd ever met, for every possible gift giving occasion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely need a craft room! But need is such a tricky word...I would LOVE a craft room. Otherwise I don't know how people store all that stuff!

      Delete
  15. This made me laugh! I especially appreciate the lines about old t-shirts. I've seen so many of those and I actually tried to make a no-sew halter top.....you will never see me wear it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hilarious!! I found you on the Weekend File linky party. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay for the Weekend File! Very fun blog. I like your blog name--coming to check it out now. :)

      Delete
  17. This is so funny and true. I was just thinking about how I pin all sorts of activities to do with my kids and then never look at them again.

    ReplyDelete

New comments are closed. Come see my new blog! www.kirstenoliphant.com

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

ShareThis

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails

About This Blog

Copyright © Kirsten Oliphant, 2007-2011. Feel free to link to my site or posts, but do not reproduce written content without written permission. Thanks!

Blog Archive

  © Blogger template On The Road by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP