I've been seeing all these year-end posts up on the interweb doing year-in-reviews. What a good idea! I thought. Immediately followed by: Wait, what happened this year?
New Years has never been one of my favorite holidays. But I do like a fresh start. I like looking back and looking forward, visioning, planning, dreaming, hoping. The problem is that after having kids, my brain is fried. I don't remember this year. I really don't. To know what happened, I would have to look back on my own blog. Want to look back with me?
We got ready to put our house on the market, and some of our church family lost their just-post-college-aged son to cancer. Rob and I took a beach vacay and our boys started to become friends.
I dealt with the struggle of contentment and trust while our finances and house-selling stuff got me down. I struggled to get over my Mom Voice while the boys were super cute for Valentines Day. I had lots of daily disasters, but found the joy in them.
This is the month I made smoked pork BBQ that was amazing (in my mind, anyway). We took bluebonnet pictures that didn't really work and I struggled with feeling like life was just a repeating circle. My mom made a grand exit from the rodeo on a stretcher and derby started up again, while Lincoln turned two.
I won my first actual skating derby award and I got pooped on by a bird and found a dead squirrel when looking for new houses. (Should have been a sign we weren't moving.) I helped throw a baby shower for two derby teammates in which everyone had to carry a baby doll between their legs. Best shower game ever. My kids got insanely cute running through sprinklers. I wrote a post about intimacy and Easter and another about reserving Mom judgment.
I learned some parenting lessons from roller derby, wondered what was up with us still not selling our house, and got ticked at Time Magazine. Sawyer turned four and finished his first year of preschool with a fabulous performance. I struggled with the idea of Mommy's work at home and Real Work, if there is such a distinction.
I got to see our friend Marc Martel from Downhere perform with the Queen Extravaganza and it was epic. The boys really started learning to swim and I crashed my car. Just a little. We all puked a bunch, but I won another derby award anyway.
There's the first half of the year for you. I'll do the next on New Year's Day. I loved going back through the posts. What I remember from last year: crying a lot. I joke that I cry five times a year, which is generally true, but I think 2012 was a year that I more than doubled it. Between trying to sell our house and keep it clean for seven months with little kids, plus all the work that went into it, the normal summer stuff of Rob being gone so much, and just life--it was a year that I remember as being hard. These posts reminded me that it was also fun, and my boys have grown up SO MUCH.
My blog has also changed. I feel like rather than just family stuff, I am evolving into doing more of what I love: writing. My posts are less family photo driven and more thought driven pieces that I actually plan and work on. I'm still eclectic and like a good mix, but things around here have definitely changed. What will this next year bring? I'll just think about one day at a time for now.