Monday, June 3, 2013

The Time I Tried to Be Supermom


...and failed.

Surprised? I wasn't. I mean, I didn't start out trying to be Supermom, it just kind of happened.

I had all three kids for the morning, but Cooper was having a massive nap, so I felt adventurous. After letting the boys watch a movie (hey, even Supermom has a TV), I set up a bunch of activities at our breakfast bar.

We had scissors and drawings to cut out! Watercolors and paint brushes! Paper and markers! Activity books!

The boys played for over an hour and had a great time. Cooper enjoyed sleeping. Later the boys all went to the Bark Park with Tex while I fed and hung with Cooper, then the boys had swim lessons with Mimi. I even made organic veggie chips and a healthy dinner. I had some help and some breaks, but look at me! Four weeks out and I can handle three kids and even do fun activities. Piece of cake.

After that, things started going downhill.

Whether from general toddler-ness or tiredness from a long day of activity and a 5:45am wake-up, Sawyer started being...challenging. Yelling at me, smacking his brother with mixing bowls--you know, that kind of thing.

Then Cooper decided to be unhappy. Not wailing, but just not content awake, asleep, up, down, sitting, lying, eating, pacifier-ing, diaper-changing. Nothing. Cranky baby.

Bed time was one of those arguing, interrupting storytime, arguing about stuffed animals and reading and even prayer. I felt far from Supermom: out of patience and ready for a glass of wine and no kids. Rob even gave me the opportunity to go out, and I considered shopping for some in-between clothes since my maternity clothes are falling off but my normal clothes still look and feel awkward.

Cue cranky baby.

Despite my best efforts to keep her awake during the day, Cooper has been enjoying nights. Thankfully not the middle of the nights as much as the part of the evening past the boys' bedtime when I am usually able to have Mommy down-time, especially these past two weeks when they were out of school. She would fall asleep and then when I would go to do something like eat dinner, she would wake up cranky the moment I lifted a fork to my mouth.

I felt frustrated. I felt defeated. I felt depressed. I took off my Supermom cape and tossed it into the fire. 

I told Rob that without down time, Mommy goes down. (Then I had to explain that I did not mean down like in "Jungle Boogie," but more down with a sinking ship.) I need to remember that Cooper is four weeks into the world and figuring things out. I am four weeks post major surgery and four weeks into life as a Mom of three and it's okay if I don't have a great day of activities planned. It's normal if I feel frustrated and tired.

Supermom is a myth. I bet that the people we hold up as having it all together (and even the ones that try to make us think they have it all together) have frustrating moments. Days when they just want a few hours with no kids in sight. Times when hearing the baby cry makes them want to cry. Those moms also need (or want) help from a spouse or parent or teenage babysitter or even the television or iPhone app.

Do you ever fall into the trap of believing you can be Supermom and then falling hard? Or even just a Superperson?

Let's put the myth of Supermom (or Superperson) down. Not down like Jungle Boogie, down like a rabid dog.




6 comments:

  1. Goodness, my hat goes off to you. What a healthy outlook! To give yourself permission to fall apart when it gets hard, to ask for help where/when needed and to cope however possible (wine included)... I think THAT makes you a darn good mom. Kudos. And I like your face, too.

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  2. Every time I think I'm super-anything life is like, "Heheheheh, you need a comeuppance, do you? Well here ya go!" I'm pretty sure the only way to actually be Supermom is with pretend children who are compliant balls of sweetness and light 24/7. Hang in there! You're doing great!

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  3. I so love this picture. Cooper and Sawyer look like, Huh???? And Lincoln looks like the oldest here...how did that happen! Love your family.

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  4. I think you ARE a supermom because after all of that you still care enough to be disappointed in yourself. Hang in there! I hear it gets easier.

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  5. Just ran across your blog. As a fellow boy-mom (I gave up at two - too chicken to try for a third) I salute you for recognizing that it's time to take off the cape! Solidarity, sister...

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  6. I only have one child and I have frustrating days that nothing goes right, it happens to everyone! I couldn't imagine having three! You are doing an amazing job, always remember that. Of course don't forget to take time for yourself :)

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