I Still Hate Pickles

Where Life Intersects Death

2012-01-28T20:43:00.001-06:00

This is another post totally feelings-driven, not theology-driven. As in, these are sort of my gut feelings, not tempered by what I believe, beyond what I feel, to be true. Maybe I'll have a post soon about what I know to be true, but in the moment, you're getting more feelings. These days, I have a lot of them.

Today I cried (with much effort, silently) through a funeral, while thinking also of another funeral for a dear friend that I won't be able to attend. I would vastly prefer to cry by myself in a closet where no one but Jesus sees and knows about it. I really resist the public-ness of memorials and funerals, though I was glad to be there today. I keep seeing all these little details of life and being disturbed by the way life intersects death.

There is something about funerals that makes everything seem (at the least) irreverent or (at the most) obscene. Here are a few examples, some from today, and some fresh in my mind from other occasions.

Getting dressed--is it wrong to wear eyeliner to a funeral?

Nirvana on the radio, "Smells Like Teen Spirit," on the drive to the church.

The sun shining on a beautiful day.

That family walking their dogs behind the sanctuary--don't they know someone died?

Cookies in the hallway, the smell of sandwiches and too-bright yellow of lemonade.

Discussing traffic with fellow late-comers.

"How are you doing?" Well. I'm at a funeral, how are you?

Chapped lips.

The body inside the coffin just below the podium where people spoke about the person who is, and is not, inside.

Dragonfly tangling briefly in my hair on the way back to my car.

It seems so inherently wrong for there to be laughter or a sunny day or to eat cookies or for people to be driving 70 on the highway past a church where a young man's life is being memorialized. And yet, life continues on, with only the briefest pause for remembrance.

I sort of wish for the sackcloth and ashes type of mourning, where I could rend my garments and put ashes on my head and people would leave me alone. Our mourning these days means dark clothes that don't look much different after a funeral to the man selling newspapers at the store, where you might have to stop to bring home dinner.

All this, too, is part of God's plan, that life would be going on all around death. Maybe to remind us, maybe to point us to him and to a larger plan. Maybe to give hope that when we are ready, we can rejoin what is already and still moving forward all around us.

Still, the juxtaposition always seems jarring to me--the way life is never far from death, even at a funeral. Today I thought about both, and about two young men who have joined their heavenly Father, yet left so many behind.

I have KNOWLEDGE of the comfort of Christ ready and waiting, but for now, I just FEEL heavy.

Sawyer On: Garlic

2012-01-28T00:52:00.000-06:00

I wrote the other night about a fabulous restaurant in New Smyrna called The Garlic. The review inspired me to roast several heads of garlic this week. (Can you smell me?) Sawyer really wanted to try the garlic-as-butter-smeared on bread, so I gave him a piece of toasted bread, slathered with thick, roasted garlic.

M: Do you like it?
S: No. It spices me.

It's always fun to hear little kids describe taste, and honestly--I think that "spice" SHOULD be a verb. What a perfect way to describe it.

Also, it was a good thing it spiced him. Rob and I didn't want to share.

Leaving for a Better Place, Yet So Much Left Behind

2012-01-28T00:39:00.001-06:00

This has been a full week. Not full as in busy, though it's been that too, but full as in heavy. In addition to the beginning of the whole putting-the-house-on-the-market stress (and already, it's stressful) and having a kid get sick (Saw, today), Rob and I saw two very young people we know lose their battles with cancer.

On Thursday, one of our church families lost their son Nick. He was 22 and had been married maybe two years. I only met him once or twice, but Rob is close with his brother who went through the youth group, and Nick's sister is still in the youth group. Nick was diagnosed about the same time Lynn was, and while it was totally a joy to see the Lord really bring her through, Nick has been struggling this whole time. It's still really hard to believe, and I just can't imagine the loss his family or his wife feel at this time.

Today I got word that my friend Patrick also lost his battle with cancer. I spoke about him recently and linked to his blog (which you can visit HERE for ways to help and support his wife and daughter). It's been a month or so since I got word that he was doing poorly, and have prayed and cried and had preparation for this, but still find it so hard.

In the cases of Nick and Patrick, I know that they knew and trusted Jesus. (And by that I mean that rather than relying on whatever good things they might have done to earn a spot in heaven, they trusted that Jesus lived a perfect life that we couldn't and died on the cross, taking away punishment we deserve.) I joyfully and tearfully know that they are with him now, seeing his face, partaking of a banquet in heaven.

It's tearful because of what they leave behind, and even how they left. Rob saw Nick and his family this week and said it was just sad beyond words. I saw a photo of Patrick this week and really didn't recognize him, except for a familiar bit of his mouth. It shocked me. His daughter was also in the photo, and that made it so real. Both these young men leave behind so much: wives, a daughter. Parents and siblings and friends around the country and world who are mourning right now.

I totally meant to write about something else here, and maybe later I will tackle it, but as I was writing, the words of a song I wrote a few years ago came back to me. It's not an amazing song or anything, but here's why I'm sharing it. I sat down to write a gospel song in Greensboro (think: country gospel, not gospel choir) and was kind of writing about heaven and putting down ideas, when suddenly the song was not so much about heaven being a wonderful place, but my issues with it. Namely: the idea that we don't always get there at the same time with our earthly loves, and I don't know what that relationship looks like on the other side.

Jesus once rebuked some people who were testing him, saying that people won't be married in heaven, but will be like angels. That sounds fine and dandy, but what about my husband!?! I'm sure when I'm IN heaven, I'll understand and not care. But here on earth, the idea of going to heaven doesn't sound like heaven if I'm not with the people I love now. Plus, the idea of going at separate times who knows when just is not something I want to think about. This week, that's definitely more real.

It's not really a spiritual or theological song, but just one about how I FEEL. And as I've posted before regarding the Psalms, being honest is a good thing. If I'm being honest, it's just really hard to see the loss left behind when our earthly loves depart, EVEN if you know their suffering has ended.

With that in mind, here is that song, which became not a gospel song, but more a country ballad where I rant and rail a bit to God.

Without My Baby

When that day comes, I will be ready
To fly away from here into the great blue sky
But I won't go without my baby
That's why I'm holding onto him so tight

I don't mean to tell you, Lord, the way that it should be
Just consider me the least of all and this my sinner's plea
Nothing can compare to you, but Lord my faith is weak
Forgive me, but I won't go without my baby

I know that it's not right for me to love someone this much
But I'd rather err on that side than not loving near enough
You gave my baby to me and he's yours to take away
But knowing and believing are two very different things

I don't mean to tell you, Lord, the way that it should be
Just consider me the least of all and this my sinner's plea
Nothing can compare to you, but Lord my faith is weak
Forgive me, but I won't go without my baby

Could there be a heaven without my baby's love?
Would it be the same if I'm alone?
I know the thing to do is let go and simply trust
I guess that I'm just not the trusting kind

That day has come and you've been faithful
Not that I'm deserving, but Lord your word is true
I look across the River Jordan
On the other side, I see him there with you

I don't mean to tell you, Lord, the way that it should be
Just consider me the least of all and this my sinner's plea
Nothing can compare to you, but Lord my faith is weak
Forgive me, but I won't go with out my baby

Breaking Resolutions in January

2012-01-26T11:35:00.000-06:00

With the re-start of derby (groan, my aching muscles!) and the whole selling-our-house thing, I have broken most of my resolutions on the daily. I'm sure I didn't post about resolutions, but I made a bunch, mostly focused on daily things that I think I can achieve. Here are a few examples:

-make Rob lunch and breakfast each day
-do at least 10 minutes of yoga
-clean out sink and dishwasher and put away all laundry before bed

Fail, fail, and fail! One thing I have done is give Rob a ten minute massage at least MOST days. I don't have time for even ten minutes of yoga sometimes, and it's easy to use the excuse that I already did 2-3 hours of derby most days. I'll also blame derby for the last one of those--I am a zombie by 10pm and just pretend I don't see the sink and laundry.

I always give myself grace with resolutions. I am working toward some of them and doing well, like with having daily times with God. Much better there, and that's important. I also have been planning meals better and have done lots of organizing. It's just with the whole moving thing, plus a busy beginning to derby, some of my lovely resolutions aren't going to make it. I am okay with saying that MOST days I will do those things. I have hope. Returning from vacation also threw a wrench in things, and I've had extra practices the past two weeks in derby that will end starting next week. Rob and I are going to write out a plan of attack on stuff for the house, so I think we can be organized. I have failed, but don't yet feel like a failure.

Did you make any resolutions this year? Have you broken them yet??

Spinach Winners!

2012-01-26T10:41:00.004-06:00

My first three commenters on guessing the age of my spinach have won a prize! Please email me your addresses, Courtney, Liz R, and Anonymous. If I don't hear from you in the next day or two, I will proceed down the list of comments!

A Few Tiny Changes

2012-01-26T00:15:00.002-06:00

While almost deleting my blog tonight, I did enable a fun feature: you can now have threads in the comments. What this means is that if someone comments and you have a particular response to that particular comment, you can hit a little reply button and yours will follow under theirs. This is more professional, more fun, and will ONLY be useful if you comment on my blog.

(Hint, hint.)

Get excited for huge tiny things!

The Garlic

2012-01-26T00:13:00.001-06:00

I was reminded yesterday when hanging out with my friend Kelly that I had forgotten to post a restaurant review from our Florida trip. What reminded me was this amazing tomato and garlic and almond dip she had, which I totally ate with a spoon out of the container she gave me. You can see that amazing recipe HERE.

So on our lovely, child-free vacation, Rob and I were driving down the road in New Smyrna Beach and we both suddenly were like: "Where is that heavenly and amazing smell of garlic coming from? We want to go to there!" (Ahem. Paraphrase.) The answer was pretty easy because we were driving past a restaurant called The Garlic. For real.

And yes, it had giant plaster heads of garlic. Sorry for the terrible photo. It was nighttime--what can I say.

I have to tell you a little back story before I get to why we were compelled to go to there. When we were living in Greensboro, one of Rob's colleagues gave us a recipe for homemade salsa. You'd think that we would have gotten some kind of amazing recipe from Texas, but no. This woman in North Carolina.

When visiting my parents in Virginia (this story involves way too many states), we made said salsa and consumed quite a bit of it. It's lovely: roasted peppers, fresh tomatoes, fresh garlic, some other stuff. Maybe I will share it soon. Maybe.

In any case, the next morning, my mother SWEARS that walking past the guest room where Rob and I slept, she could SMELL us. She says that it was like garlic was living and breathing inside our room and emanating out into the hallway. I call that awesome. My mom called that gross.

The point of that story is: we LOVE garlic.

The prices at The Garlic (I should also point out that I think it's oddly funny to put "the" in front of things that normally don't have "the" in front of them, like The Derby) were sort of moderately high-ish (a technical term). Entrees came in between $12 and $30 with some appetizers under $10. The best thing at The Garlic was, however, free. It was the garlic.

That, my friends, is a whole head of garlic, roasted. Ready to be spread like butter upon bread. It really was like butter, and Rob and I soon found ourselves asking for a second head of garlic. Have I mentioned that we like garlic?? We have had roasted garlic, but not usually as something you just spread on a nice slice of homemade bread. Typically I ad it to a recipe, like mashed potatoes. I had no idea that I was missing out on just plain The Garlic.

The ambiance was fabulous as well, though my photos don't capture it well. We sat in a garden lit by rope lights, with trees and plants all through it and a roaring fire in a stone fireplace nearby. There was also an outdoor brick fire oven they used to cook pizza. In short, this place was phenomenal, and we plan to roast and eat a lot more heads of garlic in the near future. Mmmm. Maybe the VERY near future.

If you happen upon New Smyrna Beach, stop and smell and eat The Garlic.

Daily (Almost) Disaster: That Time I Deleted My Blog

2012-01-25T23:51:00.001-06:00

I just almost deleted my blog.

Okay, not the WHOLE blog--the content and all that. (Though I DID accidentally delete my old blog that was solely photos of our crazy life. Sad, sad day.) It was more all the code that makes my blog look the way it does.

No, it doesn't look perfect. But it took me forever to get it the way it is and I'm planning to change much right now. So I should NOT have played around with the html code, especially when I don't understand html code. There is even a little warning on blogger like: "Please understand if you click this button to work on the html, you may DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD if you don't know what you're doing." I still clicked the "Go Ahead, Genius" button anyway to edit my html and am still coming down from the adrenaline of the mild (major) panic attack I suffered when I tried to load my blog and just got an error message, then realized that I saved my code in case that happened, then continued to edit it instead of opening a new file.

When you panic, the best thing to do is just close the internet and pray that it forgot what you were doing. It did! Whew. I am still sweating.

Sawyer On: My Culinary Prowess

2012-01-24T09:22:00.000-06:00

M: Saw, how is your breakfast? Is it delicious?
S: No. It makes me have to go potty.

Sleeping...Like That?

2012-01-24T00:10:00.002-06:00

This is how Sawyer is sleeping tonight.

Not only does he want to sleep in the floor (???), he wants to sleep halfway on an overturned armchair in the floor. I have weird kids.

Photo of the Day

2012-01-24T00:09:00.002-06:00

Lincoln has a new face! No, not like the movie Face/Off, which I could never fully understand and watched while napping. He has a Face that he makes, kind of like Sawyer's old one. (This is still sounding like Face/Off, right?) Here you can see Lincoln making a bald version of Sawyer's The Face, and then Sawyer's The Face.

Now with all this build-up, I haven't actually captured him making the face. But I'll get it one of these days, and here are a few cute photos as I tried.

I'm not sure what was going on here. But neither of these is The Face. He made it for the checkout guys today in the store and had them in stitches. It's pretty fantastic. Watch for it. I will find you, The Face.

Brothers and Friends

2012-01-23T23:52:00.002-06:00

Something odd has been happening lately. (Odd and GOOD, I should say.) Sawyer and Lincoln are really starting to become friends.

Not always--there are still the moments of fighting over toys or whatever else, and Lincoln is starting to fight back or react back when Sawyer isn't nice. But there have been a few heart-melting moments this week that I have to share.

While getting ready for church (always a challenge), I was in my room getting dressed and felt like it was too quiet out in the TV room. I came out, fully expecting the boys to either be zoned into the TV (a necessity to getting ready for church with two kids when your spouse has to leave an hour earlier than you do) or into trouble. Instead, Sawyer had a book of trucks and planes open. "Point to the red fire truck," he said, and Lincoln pointed to the fire truck. "Where's the trash truck, Lincoln?" And Lincoln pointed.

AWWWW.

Of course there was then this: "Where's the space station? No, Lincoln, the space station. The SPACE STATION. SPACE. STATION!" Still, even the yelling was kind of cute.

They have also started really playing together, but the play is dangerous, rough boy play. Today I made an executive (and perhaps insane?) decision to NOT watch them play as I cooked dinner. I'll tell you why--I didn't want to be nervous and make them stop what they were doing. I heard laughter while cutting bread and checked to see what they were up to. Sawyer was taking running leaps onto Lincoln on the couch. I mean, like flying full speed into him. Lincoln was laughing like mad.

It looked fun. It looked cute. It looked like someone was about to bust open a head.

I did warn Sawyer to take it easy, but then I retreated back around to the kitchen where I could hear but not see. It was typical boy play, and nothing insanely dangerous--just maybe slightly. I figured if I watched for much longer, I would be tormented by all the what-ifs that could happen: what if their faces collide? What if someone falls off the couch and breaks an arm? Hits the not-so-far-away fireplace? Takes a Tinker Toy to the eye? Instead, I could just listen to the laughter from the kitchen and pretend they were gently tickling each other from the safety of our thick rug.

No one lost an eye, though Lincoln was totally red and looked a little rug-burned by dinner time. But they played! Like friends! Not just brothers.

I love seeing this new trend. I'm sure along the way, someone will get stitches. There's that fine balance between safety and boy play. I'm not sure which side of the balance I'm more likely to err on...but maybe it's boy play, not safety. I am, after all, the one who skates in a full contact sport. Whatever form their bonding takes--and I'll even accept mischief, though not disobedience--I will embrace and enjoy every minute of it.

Contest: Guess the Age of My Spinach.

2012-01-23T23:37:00.004-06:00

No, really. How old do you think this spinach is? Take a gander and then leave a comment.

For real: take a guess!

And then go check a post on my review blog to find out the answer. NO CHEATING!

Help! I Have a Blog Jam.

2012-01-23T23:12:00.001-06:00

What, you may ask, exactly is a blog jam, Kiki?

Nope, not like jelly jam.

It's not like Pearl Jam. (I still love you, Eddie Vedder!)

Or a late night jam session.

Not a derby jam.

For sure not toe jam.

It's a TRAFFIC JAM. I have a giant pileup of blog posts in my head, like I-10 where it meets 8 over here on the westside around 6pm. I am totally backed up and so busy that I may just get a few posts out now and then, but there are so many more to come!

I am definitely continuing my Life of Kiki series with England posts (thanks, Mary, for saying you love and miss them!) and have so much to say about moving and life and salads and my boys playing together, but unless God makes every day a leap day with one extra hour, I'm going to be slow and steady for a while.

So please excuse my blog jam while I try to finish editing a novel, get my house ready to put on the market, start a new season of derby (ICYMI, I signed on for another season), and do all the everyday things like love my fam and maybe even clean out my car.

Father of the Year, or Creepy Man at the Playground

2012-01-23T00:21:00.002-06:00

The other day Rob and I took the kids to the playscape at a nearby mall. Within five minutes, Rob was the pied piper to half a dozen kids who were alternately chasing him and being chased in a colossal game of hide and seek. Our boys, of course, loved every minute of it, and I loved watching how other kids were drawn into the mix. My favorite moment: twin girls followed him, saying, "Monster! Monster! Chase us!"

For probably an hour, Rob was Monster. Growling and roaring through the playscape, he had kids squealing in delight and surrounding him en masse. When we left, a group of kids followed him to the gate, saying, "Don't go! One more time, please?"

I love watching Rob play. There is something infectious about him as a person. A small example, but no accident: he was voted Prom King and Class Favorite in high school. He has that kind of charisma that draws people in, young and old alike. Whether at a playground or our house gathered with all the cousins, Rob becomes the center of the game. He creates the game, just by his presence, and has so much joy in making the kids laugh. I'm not sure who enjoys it more--Rob or the kids.

While children on the playground come running to play with Rob, the parents are a mixed bag. Many smile and laugh or, as the security officer in the mall did, they will approach me and comment on how fun it is to watch him play with all the kids.

Then there are the other parents. The ones who scowl from their seats or watch with narrowed eyes. Some parents just don't like chasing games, even on a playground where kids are, by definition, supposed to play. But I know that there are others who disapprove simply because Rob is a man, playing with kids.

It's a sad fact of today, but there is a real fear and concern when it comes to men and children. Especially strangers. People have a distrust and a clear wariness, not without reason. Turn on the news and you'll see the cause for this concern. As a wife, I am so proud of my husband and the way he doesn't just spend time with our kids, but is willing to bring that joy to random kids on the playground, or our neighbors outside in the yard. But I have to hold myself back on the playground from running around reassuring the other parents who are fearful or have misgivings.

It hurts me to know that parents might be creeped out--and yet I understand it. Even Rob is aware of this, and I can see how he tries to play and present himself in a way that's clearly friendly, not sketchy. Still we both know that the worry exists. I wish we weren't in a world where people have to fear for their children this way. But the reality is: we do.

Is there room in our culture for a man to play with kids on the playground? As a parent, would you be creeped out by this, or love seeing a happy father including other kids in play?

Moving Is Like Taking Off a Bandaid

2012-01-21T21:09:00.001-06:00

This is what I told Rob today about my recent flurry of activity regarding our house. Moving is like taking off a bandaid: much less painful when you do it quickly. Here are the things we did since talking to the realtor Thursday:

-cleaned out our closet (my half, so far)
-boxed up clothes for storage
-trashed a lot of trash
-gotten rid of the VW Thing that has been hulking in our driveway
-gotten rid of a lot of old doors (sad face from Kiki here), broken or just gross furniture
-taken down our rope swing in the front
-raked out leaves from the flower bed
-added dirt to the plants in front
-mowed the lawn
-took down Christmas lights
-moved some boxes out of our house
-took down personal photos from the walls

Is that all? It doesn't sound like as much as it FELT like. Still, our front room looks emptied out, the walls look more bare, and you can see the floor and the shelves in my closet. It's pretty amazing.

The rope swing took some real doing from Rob, and I was afraid for his safety so enlisted the help of Derek (Needs Derekshun), a friend from derby who lives nearby. I texted him and said: "Want to come help Rob do something really stupid?" He was over in a flash.

Derek, glad to help with dangerous stunts.

See?

Rob tied such a good knot that it took like an hour to get it down!

Then he couldn't start the Thing, so he had Peter push it around the block with our Honda. It was an interesting day.

So far, I can handle the moving thing. I like cleaning things out and wish we lived like this all the time. Maybe we can really get rid of a lot of things and then ACTUALLY live that way all the time!

A Strange New Year Resolution

2012-01-21T00:04:00.001-06:00

As December rolled to a close, Rob and I started talking budget. Mostly about how, even December craziness aside, we were always going over ours. I hate talking numbers and HATE talking money, so often I'll just stick my fingers in my ears and shout, "JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH TO SPEND ON GROCERIES! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ELSE!" I'm actually not kidding--I do that.

This time, I didn't stick my fingers in my ears and we had a real discussion, albeit a short one. It ended this way.

M: Maybe we should move to a cheaper house.
R: Hm. Okay.

Maybe the conversation was a little longer, but I don't think so. We didn't actually make a decision that quickly, but let the idea sit. The next day, it still sounded good. I was a little afraid that it was just my idea since I can kind of be pushy. (Just a LITTLE pushy.) But when we brought it up again the next day, Rob said he was really loving this idea.

When we bought this house, it was within our means, but more than we'd planned to spend. Then we started having kids and paying for home births PLUS hospital births (we've paid for four kids and only gotten two) and things like preschool and three gallons of milk a week. People sometimes joke with me about being cheap, but the truth is that we're constantly on a tight budget.

When I say a tight budget, I have to point out that according to world standards, we are RICH. Filthy rich. Our house here is modest, but would be home to like five families in some other parts of the world. We still have WAY more than what we need. I just want to clarify that I am not in any way complaining about how much money we have, just saying that every month, every penny seems to be going somewhere.

We rarely eat out. I hardly ever buy myself or the kids new clothes. I coupon. So when we look at where we could take a cut to bring us down each month, there is little to cut. We could take the kids out of school, but then I couldn't write. The stinky thing is that I may never make money doing it, but I feel passionately about it, regardless. The best place to really cut was our mortgage.

Fast forward to two weeks later.

We've met with a realtor this week and talked about how things are in our 'hood. Houses like ours that are fairly well updated sell quickly when priced well. We have some things to do (carpet, ceiling fans, landscaping, paint touch-ups), but generally this type of house moves well. We were happy with the quote she gave us as to how she'd probably list it. I don't get numbers (again, fingers in the ears) but she gave us a number that's more than what we paid and will allow us to fix the things that need fixing and get out with money for a down payment.

The kicker: her suggested timeline was to have it ready in a month.

Yes, a month. I've already started boxing up things in plastic tubs and we've made a google doc with what we need to do with each room. I have numbers for painters and carpenters and we've asked people if we can store things with them rather than rent a unit. I cannot believe we are doing this, but we are both really excited.

And sad.

I love our house. We bought a house that we felt like we could live in forever if need be. (Look forward to a post with my thoughts on "starter homes" this week.) There is a ton of space and I love the layout. It's perfect for us. I'm terribly sad to think about leaving it. And yet--we both LOVE the idea of living within (or even below!) our means. There are comparable houses to ours for a ridiculous amount less if we move ten miles west. We always planned to move to Katy (where it's cheaper and the schools are great), but just didn't plan to do it yet.

You can expect a bunch of posts about getting a house ready for sale with two kids. Eeeek! And you can be praying for us (if you're that kind of person) that we can actually sell our home for what we want and find the perfect home for us at the right time.

How about that for New Years Resolutions?

Park Play

2012-01-20T23:26:00.001-06:00

We met up with the cousins today (ALL of them!) and took over a playground near Mimi and Boppy's. There was much play and fun, plus a celebration of Katelynn's 12th birthday. Here are some of my photos.

Real Mothers, and The Underside of Joy

2012-01-19T13:47:00.002-06:00

I have this totally irrational fear of someone taking my kids away. This fear is totally unfounded--I should just point that out now. But there are those stories you hear where the system seems to get it wrong. There are tearful kids and parents and a real sense of injustice, while so many kids suffer in less than ideal conditions. That's where my irrational fear kicks in.

As I began reading Sere Prince Halverson's novel The Underside of Joy, I started to get that itchy, paranoid feeling in the opening pages. Ella Beene suddenly loses her husband in the opening pages (so I'm not giving anything away!) and struggles through that loss alongside her two children. Then out of nowhere, her husband's first wife pops into the picture. Did I mention that she is the biological mother to Ella's two children?

While my irrational fear radar spotted this conflict early on, the novel was surprisingly fresh. Halverson deftly handled the idea of motherhood and the questions of what defines it. As Ella struggles to answer these questions to herself, her children, and, ultimately, the courts, I had to really think about how I perceive and qualify parenting and motherhood. Halverson, again, handled this in ways that did not feel tired or overwrought.

The writing itself was lovely and I was hooked into the story and its beautiful setting. You know you're reading something good when you have two small children and still manage to finish a novel in 24 hours.

If you want to read more about the novel or see what people are saying about it, you can check BlogHer's Book Club out HERE.

This post was sponsored by BlogHer Book Club, but the opinions and words expressed are solely my own.

AAA > Random Car Jacker

2012-01-18T13:15:00.000-06:00

Last night, this happened.

For the second time in my life, I locked my keys in my car. I almost never do this, mostly because I stick to the same routine intuitively. I don't notice, but I always do the same things with my keys and purse and all that when I get in and out of the car. Then I obsessively check for my keys anyway before locking the doors.

But last night, after derby, I was pumping gas and it was cold and I was starving, so I decided to run into the gas station/McDonalds for some grub, or at least a coffee. I had my wallet under my arm, so I locked the doors to keep my car safe in that not-great neighborhood up by Bush Airport, and headed inside. As soon as I ordered my Hot and Spicy McChicken (note to self: never again!), I realized what I had done.

My phone was in the car too, but the nice gas station attendant let me use the store phone to call Rob and then AAA, which was a much-needed gift from my Dad last year. The worst part was being bored in the gas station (which had NO magazines for sale) while I smelled like derby (ew) and froze in my short sleeves and skating skirt.

The AAA guy arrived rather promptly after a large coffee and my second Hot and Spicy McChicken (note to self: NEVER AGAIN!). While I watched him try to unlatch my door, a random dude walked up to me and got right in my face (a close talker, Seinfeld style) and said: "Baby girl, Ida done that for free to take you to dinner."

Because that was a really strange offer, (and I was wondering about the logistics, like: you mean, you could break into my car right now?) I sort of laughed and said something like, "I think we've got it covered, thanks."

He continued with the same line again and again, offering to break into my car for free if I'd go to dinner, baby girl, despite my insisting that I had a husband and that my car door was already open, thank you. I managed to make it out of there alive and date-free.

The kicker was that when I finally got home around 11pm and went to take a shower, I realized that grease paint I wore during the championship game on my face had transferred to the inside of my helmet, which retransferred to my face. So the whole time I was hanging around waiting for AAA and being baby-girled, my forehead was black.

I am a classy, classy broad.

Roller Coasters as an Adult

2012-01-18T13:05:00.002-06:00

When Rob and I arrived last week at Universal's Islands of Adventure, I was pretty nervous. This surprised me--I started riding (and loving) roller coasters when I was about six. I remember the day: I was at King's Dominion with my parents and really wanted to ride those cable cars that slowly move through the park. My dad pointed to a line and told me it was for cable cars. It didn't look like the right line, but I could see the cable cars overhead, and I trusted my dad. When we got in front of the line, we were put onto a roller coaster car. I remember a moment of panic, but my Dad ~~forced~~ encouraged me to stay on, and I LOVED it. That was the beginning of a lifetime of love, so thanks, Dad! (And am I remembering that right? I was, after all, only six.)

Despite the fact that I have a total heights phobia that's gotten worse as I've gotten older, I've even ridden those tower drop rides that take you slowly up on the outside of what's essential a giant pole and drop you suddenly. But it's been like six or eight years since I've ridden a big ride, and I was afraid last week that I might hate it, or maybe even throw up.

Not to worry, I found that in no time, I was going down that first hill on the Hulk with a giant smile on my face, just like old times. Though I'd love to go back to both Disney and Universal with our kids sometime, going without them allowed us to be big kids. We rode every ride 2-5 times. We ran from ride to ride. We went without food at Universal to save money, choosing to eat a big breakfast before we went and a cheap Little Caesar's on the way back to our hotel. We stayed at Disney til 1 in the morning. We pretty much soaked every drop of fun out of the place, and then some.

Surprisingly, my favorite rides were the ones that dropped you. Rob really had to convince me to get on Dr. Doom's Fear Fall. (You can see someone else's video of the ride HERE.) It was actually more fun and less scary than the other drop ride I'd been on because the other one took you slowly up to the top, then paused and dropped you. I about died in the few seconds between the pause and the drop. But Dr. Doom starts at the very bottom, when you are surrounded by doors and can't see how high up you're going to go. Suddenly, you shoot to the top and then immediately drop. Your butt totally comes out of the seat. It's amazing!

Hollywood's Tower of Terror at Disney Hollywood Studios was my other favorite. The same sort of concept, but located in a building that looked like an old hotel, complete with creepy bellhops. They show you a video of a Twilight Zone type of episode where the elevators were struck by lightning in the hotel and disappeared. The story is you then board the service elevator and enter the Twilight Zone. Basically, you have a very short ride up where you see Twilight Zone type of stuff, then your elevator (in which you are seated) shoots you up and down while doors to the outside open so you can see the park.

We actually got free tickets to Disney from my great friend Sarah's sister Katie, who works there. (Shout out to the DeRiggi clan!!) Katie, who was full of all kinds of fun insider info, told us that the Tower used to have a few programs that ran intermittently as far as the way the drop worked. Sometimes it would shoot you all the way up, sometimes it would take you slowly up, then drop. It also has the option to keep going back up and dropping. Now the computer randomizes it, so each time we rode, it was different, which made it fun and surprising. When we got on the ride, Rob looked at the simple lap belt and assumed this would not have the same drop effect as Dr. Doom, where you are strapped into heavy duty stuff. But the Hollywood Tower still gave you that great feeling in your stomach as you fell, and offered a fun bonus because the ride itself was different each time.

None of the other rides were really anything to write home about. The new Harry Potter ride was innovative (we got to play quiddich!) but almost made both of us throw up. And it stopped almost at the end and had a malfunction. Because of that, we rode it immediately again, which meant that we REALLY almost threw up.

I have to take a minute and talk about the Harry Potter mania. It was insane! We kept seeing people walking around in Hogwarts scarves and robes like in the movie, carrying wands. There was a huge line of people waiting to get into some little demonstration where they helped your wand pick you. The wands? $30 a pop. The robes? ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. Insanity! The Harry Potter world was really neat, but they are banking on all that swag.

The biggest disappointment of the parks was the Magic Kingdom. (Remember, this is coming from an adult perspective.) The thing you do last is typically the worst, as you are so tired by that point, and at 10pm, we definitely were ready to sleep. The problem with the Magic Kingdom is that very little has changed since I was there in third grade. My favorite ride then, Thunder Mountain Railroad, was being refurbished, so I can't speak to that one, but Space Mountain was totally not worth the wait. And the classic rides like the Haunted Mansion and It's a Small World, looked (and, weirdly, smelled) EXACTLY the way I remember them. I don't think they've changed. At all. The same with the Swiss Family Robinson tree house. So while it was really fun to experience them again, they were fairly...innocuous.

One funny thing was that they have added Jack Sparrow to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. (Did you know the movie was based on the ride, and not vice versa?) He was so realistic compared to the other animatronic pirates that I actually thought he was real. Rob thought I mean Johnny Depp was hiding out in there, and he had a good laugh at me. But I thought for real that it was a guy dressed as Johnny Depp who spent all day popping in and out of a barrel. By the last Jack Sparrow, I realize he was, indeed, a robot.

In short, if you want a fun trip as an adult to theme parks, I loved both Islands of Adventure and Disney Hollywood. Disney Hollywood had some great shows like Lights, Motor, Action and Indiana Jones. Plus we had fun on the Star Tours, and watching the little kids go through padawan training--I might have a video of that later for you. We spent something like 9 hours there and were not bored! Epcot was too much walking, though the food was delicious. The light show was wonderful, though a little long. We totally missed the Animal Kingdom, but I wouldn't say we missed it, Bob.

This time of year (just after kids go back to school) was perfect, and at Universal on Friday, the longest wait was an hour for Harry Potter. Mostly that's because the inside line part is so neat with talking paintings and the like that people kept stopping to video and take photos. The average wait time was 5-10 minutes. A few rides we just walked on. Disney on Saturday was worse (because it was Saturday) but still we mostly waited 20 minutes or so, other than Space Mountain and the Aerosmith ride (also fun, but not worth an hour wait). I can't wait to one day go back with our kids, but Rob and I definitely had a fun, kid-free time being big kids!

Goodbye, Rats.

2012-01-18T12:28:00.002-06:00

Just in case you wanted to know this, we had an exterminator come some months ago. He had some brilliant words of wisdom: the rats start outside, so get them outside and they won't come inside.

He set bait traps and within days, we had no rats. What glorious news! But good news is the kind of thing I forget to share--it's easier to share weird and bad news sometimes, if only for humor's sake.

Rat-free since 2011. Holla!

The Great Salad Experiment of 2012

2012-01-18T00:32:00.001-06:00

Wow, I don't think I can actually live up to that post title. However, I am trying something new with salads this week that so far is going swimmingly. It is: the jarred salad.

I came across the idea on Pinterest (and you can find the post HERE) and found that it solved one of the problems I have with making salads for lunch. It's tedious and I hate doing it daily, yet they don't really keep very well.

But they can!

The trick is to keep the dressing away from the leafy part of the salad. I layered dressing (not the one in the link, just a few that we use, homemade and store-bought), then things like tomatoes, couscous, chick peas, dried fruit, cheese, and then topped the jar with romaine and then spinach. When you're ready to eat, just shake and dump into a bowl. The jar is not very conducive for eating.

Fabulous idea! Rob and I have been enjoying a bounty of salads this week.

For Ginny, and All the Beet-Lovers

2012-01-18T00:18:00.002-06:00

New Smyrna,Shark Central

2012-01-18T00:13:00.004-06:00

Rob and I had a fabulous time in New Smyrna Beach. It's the kind of place I'd love to live: white sand, great old homes with great old architecture, not too many high rises, white sand, alligators nearby. It had a fun little shopping and restaurant area called Flagler Avenue, where I found a fun gift for my mom and Rob and I had a two-hour foosball frenzy in an Irish pub. I really, really, REALLY liked the area. Too bad it's 16 hours from us by car. Aaaaand had 18 shark attacks in 2008.

What?!

Yup, that number is apparently correct. You can read more about that HERE and see a totally scary photo (originally from USA Today) that shows a whole heck of a lot of sharks near the shallow water. Yikes! In any case, I'm crazy enough to say I'd go back. And maybe even swim. But I'd carry a big knife while swimming.

Here are a few photos of the non-beachy parts of New Smyrna. If you want beach shots, you can scroll down to see them aplenty!

There's just something about a pink building at the beach.

At the end of Flagler Avenue, you can drive right onto the beach.

Very perceptive bell.

I don't know what these guys are, but we saw a lot of them!

Foosball!!!

A Study in Robbie

2012-01-17T23:56:00.002-06:00

I have no pictures of me from the beach. Well. Not exactly true. I have a lot of bad hair photos. But no REAL photos. Because I am the one who likes to take the photos, I'm almost never in them. Plus, when your husband is as lovely as mine, he makes for a great subject. Enjoy this post full of ROB.

"Outta my face, paparazzi."

He's about to do something crazy when he gets that look in his eye.

See?

We forgot to color his gray patch with permanent marker before this impromptu photo shoot. Yes, we really do that.

I made him carry my shoes.

And the shells I found on the beach. Here he got mad at the injustice of it all.

A Study in Beaches

2012-01-17T23:48:00.001-06:00

I took way too many photos of the beach. I have trouble deleting and choosing photos, so enjoy them all. And actually, this isn't even ALL of them. Yikes.

These seagulls all looked like guys who were bald on top with a bunch of black hair around the back.

See?

Apparently, New Smyrna Beach is Shark Attack Capital of the US. For real. Very pretty, though.

I loved this rock. Then I realized that it was seagull poop. But I still think it's pretty.

I am bothered by this photo. I keep trying to focus on that rock in the foreground. It's like an awesome mind puzzle.

Again, with the focus thing.

Love the light on the water here.

Dangerous marine life! Just kidding. It's a dolphin. Porpoise. I don't know which one. But not a shark.

Dangerous aviary life!

Time Share Presentations and Other Things That Ruin Vacations

2012-01-17T23:32:00.001-06:00

I posted a photo of the table saw outside our bedroom door, but here is another view of the things going on around our resort last week. There were nail guns and lengthy conversations about termites in the wee hours of the morning. It was swell. (In all honesty, I thought it was funny and made mental notes to share on my blog.)

Rob and I got our vacation (and really, TOOK a vacation) because I answered a sales call. My dad taught me the trick of hanging up the phone quickly if someone doesn't respond when you say hello. Often, that means it's a sales call and they're waiting to hear a hello before they click in. (I also ironically hung up on my dad several times employing this method.) One day, I didn't hang up and felt bad for the caller, so listened to the whole spiel while cleaning my house. I had this noble sense of offering them a listening ear, even though I planned to say no to the vacation package.

I did say no. And they dropped the price of the vacation. I said no again. The price dropped again. This went on until I felt the deal was too good to pass up. We got 7 days and 7 nights, split between Orlando and New Smyrna Beach, plus a rental car and two tickets for two days to Universal Studios. BAM!

The downside of this kind of vacation is that you have to sit through timeshare presentations. Those people are GOOD. Even though we thought it would be easy since we have no money to buy a timeshare, we had trouble saying no. Then it was like they smelled blood in the water and kept sending more sales people so it was like a feeding frenzy. Then one of the guys insulted our financial decisions and saying no got easier.

In any case, I think we'd both still trade the great vacation for 3 hours of sales. Plus we learned a key trick: if you ever actually DO want to buy a timeshare, keep saying no at first. They drop the price. By the time we were finally done, they had dropped the original prices by something like 50%. Maybe one day we'll buy a timeshare--for half price.

Ever taken a timeshare vacation? Do you own a timeshare? Love to hear your thoughts on both!

Poor Reyes

2012-01-17T00:23:00.000-06:00

I have more posts to go and a few more photos, but I had to post this (gross) gem from our (long) time in line at Space Mountain at Disney's Magic Kingdom. We got in line close to midnight (yes, we're crazy) and I basically had to drag Rob. The wait time was the shortest it had been all day, as our handy dandy phone app told us, but it was still an hour. The one other time I was at Disney (in third grade), I hated Space Mountain, but I figured if we didn't do it this time, I'd regret it.

The line was dreadful. It was dark with odd fluorescent lights that really hurt my eyes. There were lots of crying babies and toddlers (parents, WHY?!) and huge bunches of loud teenagers in small mobs. There were such a mob of dance team girls in front of us in line. When we were still about 30 minutes away, there was suddenly this really, incredibly terrible odor.

Then I saw the vomit.

One of the dance team girls had puked in the small space between the parts of the line as they snaked around the room. Her name was Reyes; it was printed on the back of her dance team jacket. She was crying, and another girl consoling her. Then yet another girl got in her face and said, "You can't just keep puking in the middle of lines like that!"

Wait--what?!?

Apparently Reyes had vomited while waiting in other lines. The girls didn't seem or smell drunk, so I don't know what was going on. She continued to cry and the other girls alternately consoled her or ignored her. Or rolled their eyes at her. One woman in front of them (who Rob said was a chaperone, but I wasn't sure) made loud statements about her not being able to ride the ride if she was puking in the floor. "I'm going to TELL," the woman said. (Which led me to believe she was not, in fact, a chaperone. Because wouldn't she do something about it herself? Anyway.)

We got to the ride, finally, and Reyes got on. She was still crying while in the back seat of the ride, and I guess she made it through. When we got on our train, it was vomit-free, so she either made it, or was on another train.

There were so many parts of that encounter that I didn't understand. The thing is that when you get to the front, you can opt out of the ride. Why did Reyes ride the ride??

It wasn't even a great ride. And...that's my story.

Woken by Saw

2012-01-16T22:35:00.001-06:00

One thing remained constant on vacation: we were awoken by saw. Not Saw, but saw. This was five feet from our bed the first four nights. Every morning at 7am, they fired it up. UGH!

I took this photo while sitting on our bed. Nail guns and saws really put a cramp on the whole sleeping-in on vacation thing. We still slept in. But it was a very restless sleep from 7am onward.

Lighting Strikes

2012-01-16T22:32:00.003-06:00

On the way out of town last Monday, the weather got crazy. I told Rob it was the color of tornadoes out, and sure enough--Houston had a few touch down. We drove through some rain and were out in a few minutes, but we had an amazing experience. As we drove under a pedestrian bridge over I-10, lightning struck the bridge. It was blindingly bright and sparks flew from the chain link fence. It was incredible! I haven't seen lightning hit anything, and we were probably 50 feet from it. Really neat. Here are some rain pictures to the start of our trip.

Houston in the rain.

I like to call these The Heads.

Rob, driving us through the weather.

Exit 64

2012-01-16T22:25:00.000-06:00

If you are ever driving through Louisiana on I-10, exit 64 is the place to be. There is a huge park with playground. Oh, and there are ALLIGATORS! I used to totally frown on it, even though I stopped there, because the alligators have a pretty small enclosure. But this time, I went inside and got to hold a baby alligator (!!!!) and talked with the guy to find out that the alligators they have are rescues that can't be re-released due to injury or some other issue. That made me feel a little better. The one I held was named something I don't remember that was cajun for "Little Sweet."

I totally almost put him in my shirt and ran away with him. It was love.

Taking over the Park

2012-01-16T22:18:00.002-06:00

Just before we left, Rob and I met up with almost every single cousin for a massive playground date. There were 12 kids, plus Rob. I think that we should have some kind of business where parents pay Rob to play with their kids. It's really a shame that in this day and age, people would find that creepy. Because every time we take the kids somewhere to play, within 5 minutes, every single kid on the playground has joined in the game. Some parents love this, and some stand by with pursed lips, judging. Anyway, here are some photos of the whole massive clan being wild, Rob in the thick of it.

Linc driving with cousin Charlotte.

Ila running around, trying to escape Robbie (in blue).

Sawyer and Ila on the bridge.

Kevin and...Caleb? They were all running too fast for me to properly identify. You can see moms in the background, judging.

Rob helping Charlotte across the bridge. How can you judge this?

Saw, Ila and Jackson heading down the rock wall.

Love Saw's face. He fell the last few feet.

Linc on the cusp of many great adventures.

If you have time and want to try something fun, circle all the members of our family in this photo. Rob is the freebie. :)

Re-Entry

2012-01-16T21:51:00.001-06:00

We made it home! Get excited for a slew of posts, some tonight and some over the next few days. We had the perfect kind of vacation: we had a fun, relaxing, exciting time, but still came home rested and not feeling exhausted. Sawyer is still on his great road trip and will be back Wednesday, so I will try to relay some of his stories from that. So far, when I've talked to him on the phone, it's gone like this.

M: Hey, Saw! I miss you! How are you?
S: Hi, Mommy. There is a cool swing and cool toys. I'm done.

What a great week. Lots of things to catch you up on, so I'll take it one post at a time.

Best Conversation I've Overheard, Maybe Ever

2012-01-12T20:32:00.004-06:00

In our hotel's elevator, which has a glass window that overlooks the lobby. A bunch of 11-12 year old boys enter as I exit.

Boy 1: Look! Pretty lady!
Boy 2: Dude, that's your mom.
Boy 1: It is?
Boy 3: It is!
Boy 1: Ooooh.

Bad Florida

2012-01-10T23:23:00.000-06:00

I really appreciated the comment today on my Blogging for Cash post. Whoever you are, random commenter, thanks for the encouragement. And for the reminder that I need to let you all know that I'm alive. I'm alive! I'm not suffering from blogging writer's block, just a case of Bad Florida. (An appropriate song by Tim Easton.)

Rob and I have taken a trip to Florida--a third honeymoon of sorts. Sawyer is on his own road trip to Kansas with Rob's mom, Aunt Sandi, and cousins Kevin, Katelynn, and Colin. (On the phone today, he said: "They have a basement room with lots of cool toys" and then was off to play with said toys. Love little boys and their priorities!) Lincoln is with my parents and Tex, and has apparently decided his new bedtime is 9pm. Oh, Lincoln.

I have loads of exciting things to write about and had hoped to take photos along the way and post. But I have a few issues.

1. The internet connection is very spotty. Hopefully in our next hotel, it will be better.
2. I forgot the cord for my memory card, so no pictures til we get home. Boo.
3. After a full day of travel yesterday, I spent a whole day sick in bed today. I haven't even seen the beach in the sunlight, and we are ON the beach. I can hear it though! It sounds lovely.

I hope to do a few more posts this week and then fill you in with photos next week. I am already feeling better, so I hope to escape the hotel and get my toes in the sand and maybe see a few alligators. I should say a few MORE alligators, because I got to hold an alligator yesterday! It was love. I wanted to stuff him in my shirt and take him home, but Rob was onto me.

There will be lighter posting this week and get excited for photos next week. I may take some via Twitter, so it's a good time to follow me if you're not already!

You Will Be Dead

2012-01-07T15:03:00.000-06:00

This week, Sawyer has been dabbling in the art of parent-hating. On the way home from school the other day, he wanted chocolate and when I didn't have any, he said this.

S: Mommy, you will be dead. Because I don't like you.

He hasn't quite grasped the idiom of "I wish you were dead," but fully grasps the meaning of it. And then today, when he was really tired and fighting either taking a nap or playing quietly in his room.

S: Mommy, I don't like you.

Good thing I went to a parenting conference this weekend and feel sort of recharged in my parenting. I have also been assured that this is normal (though not acceptable!) behavior at age three.

The Cash Blog

2012-01-06T08:23:00.001-06:00

Recently I signed up for a free seminar on how to grow and monetize your blog. It was some kind of online class that I think I was supposed to watch (spoiler alert: I didn't) or interact with via the interweb. I kept getting the emails to remind me and was in front of the computer when it was time to link up. Instead, I found myself watching episodes of Flashpoint (soooo good!) on Netflix with Rob.

Why did I avoid something free that promised to get me cash monies?

Here's the thing. I started this blog as a way to connect to friends and family from afar while pregnant. And to convince them I wasn't a TOTAL nut for trying to give birth at home. It grew on its own and my love for it grew. I feel like my blog now reflects the ecclecticity (new word?) of my life. You might get a post about poop or parenting, or maybe derby or writing, or perhaps a post about life in London.

As my blog morphed and grew of its own accord, I heard that there were some people whose sole incomes came from blogging. The idea! I started to dream of greatness and hooked up a few ads, mostly via Blogher. The idea of making money from something you love is basically everyone's dream. I'd love to have a blog salary!

But something feels really false to me about a seminar on how to monetize your blog. I've read various ideas on this over the past few years and some of the things (connecting with your readers, for example), I'm on board with. Some of the ideas seems little disingenuous.

I'm not sorry I skipped out on the seminar. I don't think I missed anything, and don't know that I would have made any changes to my blog had I taken part. I am not against making money by blogging. I just don't like the idea of being tricksy or false and some of the resources out there on monetizing your blog have the smack of that about them.

If you're a blogger, do you ever feel the pressure to blog for cash? DO you blog for cash? Do you understand the distinction between blogging to make money and making money while blogging?

Halp! I'm Frozen!

2012-01-05T12:53:00.001-06:00

Tuesdays and Thursdays are my work days. I am supposed to clear my desk, turn off the internet, and write like the Dickens. (Or just like Dickens. Either way.) But I am having this problem. It mostly consists of being paralyzed in fear as I realize that I have a goal of finishing an edit to send away by March. I have 300-some pages and feel alternately like I've got something great and something stupid.

I opened the document this morning, stopped thinking about all those things, and began working where I left off the other day--writing a very super rough draft of the climax. I wrote a few pages and then wrote a note to myself in brackets, which I sometimes do. I like to berate myself sometimes when editing. You know how they say that people put others down to make themselves feel better? I think if I put my first drafts down then it makes my later-draft-writing-self feel better, and thus write better.

That makes a kind of sense, right?

Well, today's comment was something like this: [This SUCKS. It's terrible and sounds like Nancy Drew. Stop writing it now and figure this out. TERRIBLE.]

Instead of making me feel better and empowered, I closed the thing and can't open it again. I've been blogging, cleaning my house, catching up on some blog reading, and generally avoiding what I NEED to do.

I think it boils down to being scared. I'm scared to go back and start at page 1 and read what I've written. I'm scared there is more work than I want to do. I'm scared that what I've written is terrible and can't be salvaged. I'm scared I'll love it, send it to an editor who will send me back and email that's just the sound of laughter, typed out.

Anyone ever get to this point with something in their lives? How do you get past the hump?

Flashback: North Carolina

2012-01-05T12:39:00.000-06:00

I have been cleaning and organizing my house. Or maybe just one closet and then being intimidated by the rest of the house and blogging instead. Either way, I found a memory card for a camera and stuck it in my little adapter. Lo and behold, I found a bunch of photos from back in the day when we lived in North Carolina. The first year, I think. Which means we were both in our 20s and Tex was only a year and a half. We are so young! And there are fall leaves! And Nags Head! I sometimes wish I could go back and time--not to re-live my life or make different choices, but just to experience it all again. Here's the next best thing.

I really loved some of the old buildings in Greensboro.

Fall leaves!

Hiking...I forget now where we were.

Some of my favorite things: chocolate chip pumpkin cake and frozen yogurt from Maxie B's.

On the way to Nag's Head in the car.

Rob heading out into the sound. Tex was smart and stayed on shore.

Because, you see, it was COLD.

Proof: I have on a jacket.

Frisbee at Jockey's Ridge.

Our smaller, still happy family.

Rob wore Tex out. I mean, Tex wore Rob out.

Ah, East Coast beaches...

Much less gray in the beard. But still--a few grays.

We should have added a "4EVA" at the bottom. :)

Waxtastrophe #2: That's Not Chocolate

2012-01-05T12:26:00.004-06:00

This week, people keep trying to help me wipe the chocolate off my lip. Except it's not chocolate--it's a blister from burning myself with hot wax.

You'd think I would stop waxing at home. (Remember when I lost half an eyebrow??) But it's still cheaper than going to a salon, and I like to think that I have only had a few bad incidents in a few years of home waxing. The odds are pretty good. I should just learn to stop when I'm ahead.

Like, for example, when I realize the wax is too hot and burned the skin above my lip, I should have stopped and let the wax cool. Or just stopped. Instead, I thought, Well, I'm already burned and still need to finish up this side.

In any case, if you see me this week, I'm not dirty. Just scabby.

Sleep Aid Review

2012-01-05T12:21:00.002-06:00

I have a lot going on right now, so posts may be few or shallow for a bit. Speaking of shallow.

The past two nights I did an unplanned test on sleep aids and thought I'd write a little review. I am not being compensated in any way for this review and these are my own thoughts and opinions. I will stand (or sleep) by them.

Night #1: Nyquil
I've had a cold since Friday that hasn't been bad, but generally just hanging around making me irritated. Two nights ago I had all this junk in my throat and it was making me cranky and sore and so I took Nyquil before bed. My last experience with Nyquil was in high school when I accidentally took some at 6am (thinking it was like 1am) and then had to go to school and fell asleep in an Art exam. (I still got an A.) I sucked down the Nyquil and slept like the dead. I mean, for real. When I woke up, I felt dead. I felt sort of weirdly heavy and drugged until about noon. The sleep was good, but not worth the feeling of deadness the next day. Plus, I think I might have slept through a fire, or my kids crying in the night.

Night #2: Derby
We had our first league practice of the year last night, and my first since October. It was lovely! By lovely, I mean full of suicide drills and sprints and off-skate squat pyramids of pain and things like that. (I also ran over someone's fingers--sorry, Bloody!--and will have a huge bruise on my hip from the subsequent fall.) Two hours of intense workout and a 20 ounce coffee on the way home: then bed. I slept like the dead (except for the brief period when Sawyer woke me up and had to be taken back to bed) and then woke up around normal time this morning. I felt great and sore and like I got nice sleep, even though I didn't fall asleep til almost 1am.

The winner: Derby.

So if you are needing a night of heavy sleep, I would suggest staying away from the drugs and finding a local derby league.

Teenage Angst Comes Early

2012-01-04T00:13:00.003-06:00

When I picked up Sawyer from school today, this was our conversation.

M: Hey, buddy! How was school today?
S: Good.
M: Was it fun? Did you have a good time?
S: Yes. Now I don't want to talk any more.
M: What?
S: I said I don't want to talk any more.
M: About school or anything?
S: Anything. I'm done talking.

Confession: I Don't Wash My Boys' Hair

2012-01-04T00:00:00.002-06:00

No, really. I don't.

Start calling me gross, start your irate comments. I can handle it. Because, you see--they both have lovely, shiny (fluffy in Linc's case), non-greasy hair. Seriously. It doesn't smell. It doesn't look icky. And the last time I remember washing either of their hair with shampoo, it was like three weeks ago.

We were lucky enough not to struggle much with cradle cap, so my boys took baths but I wasn't adamant about hair washing. The baths they take now are sometimes for cleanliness (like after a meal or playing outside) but more often for fun. Sometimes they take more than one bath a day. Maybe even three baths a day.

I don't mean to NOT wash their hair, but I forget, and then keep forgetting. Because their hair never got gross, it was hard to remember. Now I feel like it's not broke, so I'm not going to try and fix it.

Did we just get lucky? Or have I stumbled onto something--maybe we all wash our hair too much? I know mine gets greasy after a few days, but would it eventually pass the hump and be beautiful on it's own? Maybe this is because they are really young?

Maybe it's magic?

Let me know what you think. Are we gross? Are we the only non-hair-washing family out there?

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String

2012-01-03T23:55:00.000-06:00

THESE are a few of my favorite things! I've been making lists in my head of favorite things related to babydom as I have so many pregnant friends right now. A very long time ago I polled readers and got a huge list that you can find HERE if you want a refresher, but now that I've been at this for 3.5 years (what?!!) I have a few things that stand out. I'll arrange them in categories in no particular order.

Books on Pregnancy & Parenting
-Anything Dr. Sears. Very comprehensive and makes you feel like you can do it! Not like some of the scare tactic books out there, or ones very extremely from one POV. Does have an attachment parenting bent.
-Preparing Your Birth Plan. Great for pregnancy. Covers all the nitty gritty things that could possibly happen in labor and what the ramifications might be. Again, not full of scare tactics and it lets you make up your own mind.
-Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. He does discuss spanking, but even if you are NOT planning to spank, the core of the book is about reaching the core of your child, not just changing behaviors. Great stuff. (Ps-Conference THIS week at our church if you want to hear him speak! Email me for info or check Christ EPC.)

Baby Carriers
-Baby Bjorn. I bought a used one when pregnant with Saw and we've used it through both boys. It's Rob's favorite thing ever!
-SlingEZee. You can check the link on the right sidebar (an affiliate link for me!) to check out these amazing slings. Seriously, they are the best. Everyone has their own preference, but I could not function with a baby if I didn't have this sling. For real.

Wipes
-Parent's Choice Real Cloth Wipes. These are sold at Walmart for very cheap and are the absolute best disposable wipes. (They say real both, but they are disposable.) They are the softest and never tear or get icky. Great for faces as well as bottoms--they are THAT good. I will often go to Walmart JUST for these wipes and do all my other shopping somewhere else.

Disposable Diapers
-I go with whatever is cheapest or on sale or I have a coupon for, even the super el Cheapo off-brands. All worked fine, though clearly the name brands hold more pee. I have a weird thing about the smell of Pampers--it's one of my favorite smells. Don't ask why. So if it were not about cost, I'd buy Pampers all the way.

Cloth Diapers
-My favorites are still the Mommy's Touch One-Size Pocket Diapers (available from Nurtured Family--affiliate link in right sidebar). BumGenius are fine, but I'm not into velcro. The newer FuzziBunz One Size are becoming really small on Lincoln and he's not even two. We plan to potty train early, but still--he's got a bit of time left, and a lot of people wait until 3 or 4 years---these would for sure not fit then. I will say that if you are going to go the cloth route, DO NOT USE YOUR DRYER. A friend had her baby a month or a few after Sawyer and also used Mommy's Touch, but dried them in the dryer instead of on a clothesline. The waterproof layer on the inside of the diapers totally cracked and peeled off and all of them had to be trashed. Mine is still totally intact, no cracking. Though my Mommy's Touch zippered wet bag is cracking like mad. (I do still like the bag and would suggest a wet bag with a zipper--brand probably doesn't matter.)

Maternity Clothes
-I bought whatever I could buy from wherever it was cheapest. I'm not super picky. I will say that my favorite ever jeans were ones with the Secret Fit Belly. It's a trademarked design and can be found in cheap and expensive pants or jeans. It was the most comfortable and natural looking band around the top of pants. No weird bulges or circulation being cut off. I also found a lot of cute and not outrageously priced things at Target via Liz Lange. If you just want T-shirts, Old Navy has cheap ones, mostly found online.

Double Stroller
-I cannot stress how amazing the Kolcraft Contours Tandem Double Stroller is. I tried a few other ones out on loan from friends, but this is the only one (for under like $700--it's about $200) that lets you flip both seats in any direction and folds up so easily. Very bulky, but they are ALL bulky (unless they are $700 and those might still be bulky--I wouldn't know) so in comparison, this is lightweight and easily handled and with a lot of shoving, still fit into the trunk of my Honda Accord. I LOVE this thing. (Thanks again, Mom and Dad!!)

These are the main things I can think of to share. I don't have opinions on a lot of things. Like pacifiers or bottles or car seats. Those kinds of things can be interchangeable in my opinion. The things that I listed are the ones I feel very passionate about.

Daily Disaster

2012-01-03T09:30:00.001-06:00

When Sawyer first started climbing out of his crib, we were worried he'd get into things. But he almost always simply made his way to our bedroom so he could snuggle. Lincoln is a different story. Though he first climbed out a few weeks ago, he doesn't always do it. He will still sometimes wake us up by banging on the wall. More and more lately he will climb out. Yesterday Rob was home during nap time and found that Linc had woken up, climbed out of bed, and joined Sawyer's rest time, playing in Sawyer's room.

The other morning, he came to our room carrying the broom and dustpan. We didn't think much of it until we went into the kitchen.

Oh, and he also took off his diaper while I was hunting for my camera. This boy is getting to be trouble. But still very cute trouble. And he did, after all, try to clean it up...

The Fall of the House of Ginger

2012-01-03T09:26:00.001-06:00

Our leaning gingerbread house didn't even make it 24 hours. But, boy, was it tasty!

Happy Sick Years

2012-01-01T08:50:00.001-06:00

I think every year I whine about hating New Years, so I won't do that this time. (Whoops, I just did.) I had planned to stay in with my bro and our friend Peter's and Rob's brother Daniel, playing Mario Kart, eating homemade pizza and drinking cheap champagne. Then going to bed, because I started feeling bad on Friday.

By 7pm on New Years Eve, I was feeling like death. My face felt like it was filling up with concrete. I couldn't breathe well and everything felt heavy and congested. Then a headache sealed the deal. I kept feeling nauseous and having to run to the bathroom to heave. I put myself to bed and lay reading and sleeping until 9:30, when I started to feel a bit better. Lincoln, however, went to bed at 7, but was STILL UP at 10:30. I have no idea what's going on with him, but if this is a new phase, it better stop quick. Bring back my great sleeper!

I realize now that my headache had morphed into a migraine. Hence the vomiting. Once the drugs kicked in, I was able to get up and play a few rounds of Mario Kart. The thing is that I can't play Mario Kart without the old style controllers. We actually have a working Super Nintendo and N64, but we were playing those games downloaded on the wii. The controllers have those really sensitive small joystick thingies, and I can't drive that way. I was absolutely unable to stay on the course and kept spinning out because I couldn't control myself.

As a former Mario Kart fanatic, this was probably the most disappointing part of the night for me.

In any case, I was glad I felt well enough to get up for the midnight transformation and did drink a glass of champagne. I was supposed to sing in church this morning, and had to bow out last night, so now I'm about to head back to bed. I feel a little better, but have the kind of headache where if I don't tiptoe around it's like nails shooting into my head. Ugh.

Happy New Years! We can trade resolutions later. I have a bunch.

Sawyer On: Anatomy

2011-12-31T08:49:00.001-06:00

Oh, boy. This conversation took place when Saw had climbed into bed with me this morning, hence the lack of real answer on my part. I was asleep, and hoped I was dreaming.

S: Mommy, do you have a penis?
M: No.
S: A little one?
M: No. I don't have any penis at all.
S: Do you have a big one?
M: No.
S: I think you have a really, really big one.

Jesus, Justice, and the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

2011-12-30T23:04:00.002-06:00

The other night Rob gave me the night off. I have been slowly burning through a gift card he gave me last year to the movies, usually going by myself to movies I know he won't want to see. This week, it was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

I read the book and found it to be slow, a bit wandering in the plot, and quite disturbing. I really and truly wondered how it became such a phenomenon. It really is slow. I skimmed probably the first 100 pages, and then various sections after that. Toward the end, it felt like there would never BE an end. There were several subplots that wanted to be more than sub-plots and so, rather like the last 30 minutes of Return of the King, there was a lot of tidying up in the book and movie. For real: I fell asleep in the theater.

The answer, of course, to why the book was so compelling and why the movie sits at number three at the box office is Lisbeth Salander. She is one of those characters that is so vivid and so charismatic that she really does take on a life of her own. Most of the buzz about the movie before it came out was who would play her and then, when that had been decided, the physical transformation of Rooney Mara to play the part.

I think that it was for Lisbeth Salander I saw the movie, despite the third thing that bothered me about the book, which is the disturbing content. I'm totally a horror movie buff and could watch gritty crime shows til the cows come home, but The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo went places that were (I felt) darker. Most specifically, I was really unsettled by the torture Lisbeth suffered, and then the vigilante justice she exacted in return.

Which brings me to the odd title of my post. What DO Jesus, justice, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo have in common?

Since I saw the movie, I have been thinking about that scene. Not in the sense that it's been haunting me, but in more of a philosophical way. I wondered how people felt about Lisbeth's actions toward the man who victimized her. (If you read the book, speak up! How'd you feel?) I find sexual crimes to be so reprehensible. They take something that cannot be returned and leave invisible marks that cannot be erased. Think about the idea of an eye for an eye when it comes to something like rape--how can you really exact justice for that kind of crime? Can you?

I have said before that I think castration or life in prison or maybe even death would be fitting for some sexual crimes. It is easy for me to say that when I'm removed from the justice process--I can stand back and say, "Let that child predator fry," because I don't KNOW that person. I am not flipping the switch or prosecuting a case or sitting in the jury box. If it came into my living room and I was able to plan and execute some kind of vigilante justice, I wouldn't.

But there was something really satisfying about Lisbeth Salander doing so. Which, in turn, disturbed me. I felt triumphant at how she was able to rise up from being the victim of this man, to free herself from the control he exacted over her life, and maybe even to protect other women from him. The lengths to which she took her version of eye-for-an-eye...well.

That is what I kept thinking about after seeing the movie. I wondered what other people thought of this and how, like the other aspects of the book that I thought should have been challenging to a mainstream audience, this particular moment did not turn away the masses.

What I kept coming back to was justice. What Lisbeth did to her captor went too far. And yet, audiences are still on her side. We root for her up on the screen and on the pages, though if she were a close friend in real life and we knew what she did, I'm not sure we'd look at her the same way. We have an inherent desire for justice. We want to see wrongs righted and people punished, even if not the eye-for-an eye, or vigilante style. Unsolved crimes, guilty parties going free or innocent parties being punished--these things outrage us. We want justice!

C.S. Lewis makes a great case for God based on something like this in his book Mere Christianity. Lewis makes a lovely, logical argument in the first chapter for what he calls the Law of Nature, wherein all people have a sense of right and wrong. There are differences in what we consider morality, but these differences do not amount to a total difference, he argues. This idea is what haunted me for days after seeing The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

If you are still reading, this is where I get from a character named Lisbeth Salander to Jesus. We all long for justice. Especially in those things that are very clearly WRONG: rape, murder, theft. We like to point to those big things, because most of us haven't done them. And because, no matter what small differences might exist between your neighbor's moral code and yours, they pretty much all include those in the category of WRONG.

If I were to ask you if you were perfect, you would probably say no. (I don't ask a lot of people, but in those I have asked, no one has ever claimed to be.) What you might say though is that you're pretty good. You haven't raped or murdered anyone. You're doing pretty well.

Now is where I am going to ask some questions.

What about those things that you have done that make you imperfect? We want justice for murderers. What about justice for those that stab a friend in the back figuratively? Or cheat on a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? Do the right things you do cancel out those things you do that are wrong? Would a rapist's good deeds cancel out his wrongs?

Here's the thing. I believe we have an inherent need for justice because God has created us with one. The Bible says God is just. He is also holy and He is also love. When you put justice, holiness and love together, it creates this kind of equation: God has a standard of perfection because of His holiness. Any wrong of ours violates this standard and, because of His justice, cannot go unpunished. Knowing that we are unable to live up to his standard, God, in his love, satisfied the need for justice by having Jesus die in our place on the cross. Jesus lived that perfect life that we can't live. He died that death we deserve on the cross. Forgiveness for our imperfections and reconciliation with God comes through faith in that work Jesus did.

We would be outraged if there were a God and He were unjust. We are mad enough when there are cases like Casey Anthony where many believe justice has not been served. If any judge sat up on a bench and said, "Well, I am loving, so I'll forgive you for what you did," we would riot. And yet, we often think of our own lives like things can be graded on a curve. As long as we aren't SO bad, or try to do mostly good things, it will all even out. We are very gracious when it comes to our own lives, so long as we stay away from what we consider major offenses. We think that if God is love, than He will look past the things we have done.

Think about this for a moment: the Bible says that there is a God who is perfect and who is just. And who is so loving that He forgives us, WITHOUT forfeiting justice. It is really and truly amazing.

I may have fallen asleep during The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but I have not stopped thinking about it, because I think it hits on a theme that strikes deep at all our hearts: the need for justice. Are you, like Lisbeth, trying to take control of justice and of right and wrong in your life? Or might you step aside and believe that God has satisfied justice on your behalf through Jesus?

This is a bit longer and deeper than my usual posts. If you hung with me, you get a gold star.

Gingerbread House Clearance = Icing Everywhere

2011-12-30T21:17:00.000-06:00

I found a stack of gingerbread house kits in the back of Walmart for $3 today. Now, I realize you could buy your own and make your own and blah blah, but the reality is that Christmas is over and I still hadn't done it, so without this ready-made kit, we would not have a gingerbread house. Now we do.

And it's leaning.

Saw helped me (and really was actually helpful as I put the walls together) before Linc got up from his nap, and then they both decorated the roof. Somehow I cut too big a hole in the icing bag, so it was almost all gone before we got to decorating the thing. No matter: four lines of icing on the roof was about all my boys had as far as decorating goes. Lincoln mostly ate things, then realized he didn't like them, and spit out gummy, wet mouthfuls. Gross. Sawyer did a great job, but kept licking icing off every possible thing. Believe you me, there were a lot of possible things to lick icing from by the time we were done.

There were five gumdrops in these chipmunk cheeks.

Sawyer did a quick, efficient job. I think only because I told him he couldn't eat any candy until after.

All in all: definitely worth $3.

Bike Riding Fools

2011-12-30T21:04:00.001-06:00

Saw got a new bike for Christmas and we're trying to get Lincoln to pick up on the balance bike. By this time, Sawyer was riding it like a pro, but Linc still shuffles around. We also, now that there are two boys, haven't given Linc as much one-on-one time or walks around the block with the balance bike. I, personally, am terrified to take both boys with both bikes around the block without Rob. I foresee certain death. Though the cars should really be worried, not me: Sawyer rammed his first car full-speed this week. I'm not sure about the car, but Saw was unscathed.

There was also some dog-chasing.

This was about 1 second before he hit the neighbor's van. (Sorry, Richard and Alicia.) Unfortunately, I didn't capture it. How I didn't see it coming is beyond me. This has CRASH written all over it!

On the Horizon: Terrible Twos

2011-12-30T20:52:00.000-06:00

I was reading a book recently on parenting that talked about the way that western-raised kids have problems that kids around the world may not have, simply because of our wealth and culture. I agreed, until the author listed things like the attitude of teenagers and the terrible twos.

Yes, there are manifestations of both those things that are specific to western culture. But I can bear witness to the fact that something developmentally happens to a child around the age of two, wherein they begin to battle with authority in a very open and defiant way. I remember wondering if Sawyer would have the terrible twos. He responded really well to people tell him no and never threw tantrums or cried to get his way (other than bedtime) or many of those behaviors. Then suddenly, two months before he turned two, I said no to something and he threw himself into the floor and began screaming. It was like a switch flipped.

I wholeheartedly believe that these kinds of periods may look different for every child and every parent, but the kind of challenges that come in the two-through-four ages (because the terrible twos keep going into the threes) and in the teenage years are, I believe, driven by developmental changes. That doesn't excuse the behaviors or grant special consideration. Like: "Oh, I'm sorry I said you couldn't have a cookie! I forgot that this is the time in your life where you are experiencing emotional changes and moving into a period where you challenge authority. This is normal and natural. Have a cookie." That would be bad. That would lead you right to: "Oh, I'm sorry I said you couldn't have a car for your 16th birthday! I forgot that this is a time in your life where all your friends have cars and you want lots of freedom with no responsibility. Telling me you hate me is part of that process. Let's head to the dealership."

Lincoln is moving right smack into the terrible twos with alarming speed. I like to keep that picture of the angry teenager demanding a car so that I can remember this: if I don't take discipline and teaching seriously now when they're little, I'm going to be so sorry when they're 16. Not that doing all the right things now means the teenage years would be easy. But they would be HARDER if you give in to the demands of your two-year-old. I don't need to have gotten that far yet to know that.

Lincoln likes to say no to things now or will hear us say no, look right at us and do the thing we've said not to do. Then run away and hide. It's a phase that I knew would come, and really only goes to show how old my kid is. They're OLD. While I look forward to hopefully having another baby sometime soon (ish), I'm glad to have one hand for each boy for the current stages we're in right now. Rob has taught him to say, "I obey" instead of no, which is super cute. Sometimes he'll say no, but do the right thing. Sometimes he'll say "I obey" and then do the wrong thing.

Even as we are moving toward that period of life, I'm thankful for his sweetness, which I don't think will change. I know that Sawyer, despite his hard days even now, has a gentleness and a sweetness that couldn't be manufactured. It's wonderful to have those things to cling to in the midst of the hard days and hours and moments. I know we're headed for hard times, but like Michael Bluth, we're going to head-down, power through.

Sawyer Prayers

2011-12-30T20:35:00.003-06:00

Sawyer isn't really into praying much anymore. He likes when we pray, but he doesn't want to. Every now and then I'll insist, because I don't want him to give up. And I also like the randomness that comes with what he prays. Tonight I insisted, and we had a funny and then really sweet moment.

M: Do you want to pray first or do you want me to?
S: Just you. I don't want to.
M: You start. Just a short prayer.
S: Okay. In Jesus' name, Amen.
M: [trying not to laugh out loud]
S: And dear Jesus, please forgive me for not being nice to my brother.

Future Womanizer

2011-12-29T22:23:00.003-06:00

Today, Lincoln wanted to play in the tunnel. He made me climb in one side, then he climbed in the other so we met in the middle.

M: What do you want to do now?
L: Kiss.

And he proceeded to plant one on me. Two year old girls everywhere, BEWARE. This kid's got game.

To Be Pee or Not to Be Pee

2011-12-29T09:36:00.002-06:00

Probably my favorite part of the movie Baby Mama was the one where Tina Fey's sister says something like, "Is that chocolate or poop?" and then licks whatever it is. "Chocolate," she says. While Tina Fey, horrified, says, "But what if it was poop?!"

This morning I had a moment that reminded me of that. In fact, I have a lot of moments that remind me of that. But, for the record, I make it a habit NOT to do a taste test with unidentified objects.

I stepped in something wet in my hallway. I thought, "Huh. I wonder if that's pee." Then I thought, "Huh. Where's my coffee?"

THEN I thought, "Yeah. I'm a parent."

The Night Pukes

2011-12-29T09:31:00.002-06:00

Last night, I meant to go to bed early. I've been trying to get organized and ready for the new year and all the changes I want to make (more on that later). This has meant that I've met some goals, like doing at least 10 minutes of yoga a day, but also that I've gone to bed at 2am for two nights in a row. So last night, I got in bed at a nice, decent 12:30am (okay, it was probably 1am) and almost fell asleep.

Crying.

Rob and I had a conversation that was very bleary and went something like this.

M: Is that crying?
R: [pause] Yes.
M: Is it Lincoln?
R: No.
M: It's Sawyer?
R: Well, if it's not Lincoln...
M: It just sounds like Lincoln. But I can't hear because of the fan.
R: Oh. Yeah, that's Lincoln.

Then ~~we did rock-paper-scissors and I lost~~ I remembered that Rob let me sleep in that morning, so I got up. We should really start doing rock-paper-scissors, though.

The thing about throw-up is that you can always smell it before you go in there. It's like this terrible forewarning that only gets worse when you open the door. Lincoln sleeps with like 100 blankets and stuffed animals, so it was even worse. Rob got up and put Linc in the bath while I dealt with the pillows and Bunny and the blankets. It was gross. Lincoln kept pointing to it all and saying, "Ew. Gross." He's a very sharp boy.

We put him back to bed. Ten minutes later: more crying. More puke.

This time I did it alone, and put the new (and last set of) sheets and the few remaining stuffed animals in the wash. I bathed him again and then grabbed a blanket, put him back in bed and gave him some Pedialyte in a cup. I figured that might help with dehydration and give him some electrolytes.

Or just more stuff to throw up.

I spent the night until 3 in the floor of his room, running back and forth with Linc to the toilet. He only threw up like once more, but I taught him to say, "I'm sick," if he was going to throw up. That worked on that last time, and we mostly didn't get any on the carpet, but then he thought it was cute to say, "I'm sick," and then have me put him in front of the toilet so he could make fake throwing up noises and say, "All done." It was cute...the first two times.

At 3am, with Lincoln jumping up and down in his bed like it was a trampoline and me trying to sleep in the floor, maybe and maybe not lying on some puke, I tag teamed Rob. Somehow he got Linc back to sleep. Thankfully everyone slept til 8am, but man am I dead. I also kind of smell.

Linc does not actually seem sick and is running around the house like a wild man. Rob says that last night he gorged on milk right before bed so we think it was a case of TMM--too much milk. He's eating, drinking, laughing, and dancing, so I have my fingers crossed. Mommy needs a nap.

Things I Learned Today

2011-12-28T01:15:00.003-06:00

1. I am pretty quick and efficient at putting together Legos.

2. I will never be able to correctly put Pez into a Pez dispenser.

Captain Underpants

2011-12-27T23:32:00.003-06:00

I've noticed something. You might have too. Sawyer is always in his underwear.

I mean, JUST his underwear.

I wasn't sure how this happened. I mean, he won't sleep in pajamas, so when he first wakes up, he's in his underwear. But then we get dressed like normal people (not like the savages we really are) and do things outside of the house. Clothes stay on. And yet, at home, he is somehow always in underwear.

I've started watching him lately, just to see how this transition takes place. (The why is a totally different story, and one with no answer.) Here's how it goes. We walk in the door. Within two minutes, Sawyer has stripped off his clothes and left them wherever he happened to be.

It's like he doesn't even notice. Or do it on purpose. As he's playing and gathering his toys and whatever else he normally does, he also happens to strip off his shirt and pants.

As I said, I will probably never know the why. I've asked him, and he doesn't have a reason. In fact, he seems surprised, like, where did my clothes go?

I'm not the kind of person who really cares that he's undressed while home. When he starts losing his clothes at a friend's house or at the mall, we'll have an issue. Either we have a future nudist or a little guy who's really confident with his body. Or maybe he gets hot all the time? Or has some kind of weird tick? Or just really likes his underwear?

Daily Disaster: Retro Tetanus Style

2011-12-27T14:39:00.000-06:00

This school house lasted from the time I was a kid until a few days ago. It made it through all the years of me and my brother, but not through Sawyer's "rest time."

Rest time is basically what used to be nap time, and is now a time where he gets into trouble in his room. The worst part about this is that when he ripped the bottom off, it was attached with NAILS. Way to go, Fisher Price. Because he is a boy, Sawyer then stepped on the nail and cut his foot.

Not a bad cut, but Sawyer hasn't had a tetanus shot. The tetanus shot is found in the DTaP vaccine, which is the one Rob had such a reaction to when he was little. He had to be resuscitated. When I spoke with the boys' doctor about it, she said that even though the shot has changed, it's valid to be cautious with this one. I thought that perhaps they would separate the tetanus out, but not until kids are teenagers. I found this out after waiting almost two hours inside of a CVS for the Minute Clinic on Christmas Eve. When I realized that they were about to give Saw the DTaP vaccine, I shared the reason we hadn't done it to begin with, and the woman suggested we wait to talk to our doctor.

Who knew a schoolhouse could be so much trouble?

Never Too Soon for a New Year

2011-12-27T14:27:00.000-06:00

I love the new year. Not New Years, which is one of my least favorite holidays. I complain about it every year. But the idea of a fresh start is so appealing to me. December is such a month of excess: we eat too much, spend too much, do too much. It's like that Dave Matthews Band song: just TOO MUCH.

I'm not waiting til the 1st to try and get my life in order. Last night I stayed up til 2am, making lists on the computer and sort of daily and weekly goals. Everything from eating to cleaning to how to spend time with the boys. I want to be more disciplined in every area of my life, and I think organization is the first step.

I was inspired by Money Saving Mom's 2-hour cleaning checklist and tried that this morning. Only...the second part of the list (which is essentially straightening up) took me two hours, not 15 minutes. I guess I need to tweak the list for our family. Plus, after Christmas, most homes (I think) look like they were hit by tornados. After that two hours of cleaning, my house is STILL messy. But I did like 6 loads of laundry and put most of them away and started the packing-up of Christmas items. There was progress. You just can't tell yet.

It's a little early yet, but do any of you have resolutions? Goals? Life changes?

Fires and Stitches and Greed, Oh My!

2011-12-27T14:19:00.003-06:00

Last night we had our Christmas exchange with Rob's family, which turned out to be a little more eventful than the celebration with my family. Not an hour into the festivities, we had a cousin smash into the stack of logs and bust his forehead open. This required a trip to the emergency center and three stitches. After that great start, we never really recovered. Dinner somehow was served at like 8pm (we started at 4pm) and no one ate because we were all so full of cream cheese appetizers.

The gift exchange was (as always) a lot of fun and I ended up with a karaoke machine and an atari attachment that lets you play 10 games on your television. Yes! I also won the grand prize for the gift I brought, which was a color e-reader I found on super sale at CVS earlier in the year. Yay for money! The kids had a great time and it was definitely a memorable night! Here are some of the photos.

Lynn made her gum tree, a holiday tradition that happens a few times a year. The kids love it!

Linc with the oldest of the cousins, Kevin. Now a teenager! Wow, these kids grow fast.

Braden, raring to go.

Bryce, planning his route.

Caleb, listening to Boppy's instructions.

I love Linc in the back, showing off his abs. Bye bye, baby belly!

Saw tramped through the woods while chomping on gum.

Lincoln got fascinated by his own hand.

A few of Braden, pre-stitches.

The real question is: how was there no accident involved here with fire, lighter fluid, and a lot of males?

The love of fire starts EARLY.

Sawyer scaled some hills.

With a little help from Kevin at the top.

A smores beard--the tastiest beard of all.

Christmas Gift-haps

2011-12-27T14:05:00.001-06:00

I meant to do this post before Christmas, but then, I meant to actually get my baking done and gifts sent before Christmas too. (On a funny note, they are still not mailed. I went to the post office and used the automated thingy only to find out someone put a giant package in the slot and the thing was stuck. Ug!) I made a lot of gifts this year, mostly just for family, so wanted to share a little about what I did and what mishaps I had that you could avoid if you want to try.

A list of what I made:

-peppermint bath bombs
-chocolate peppermint bark
-chocolate bacon bark
-chocolate cranberry almond bark
-sugar cookies
-Christmas crack

I found the little bags in the wedding section of Walmart. For whatever reason, bags that were sort of fluted were much cheaper: 100 bags for $3.50. The regular shaped cellophane bags were 20 for $3.40. These were prettier and better for closing off with a ribbon.

For the barks, I melted name brand (just taste better than the off brand) chocolate chips in a regular pan on low. I never use a double broiler, mostly because I don't have one. Stirring frequently and not walking away from the room keeps the chocolate from burning. Each bag of chips makes one batch of bark. I spread out a sheet of wax paper (usually on a baking sheet just to keep chocolate from escaping). When the chocolate is almost totally melted, I turn off the burner and stir til there are no lumps. While I tried a few methods of incorporating the different things (bacon, broken candy canes, almonds, cranberries) into the chocolate, I think the best and most consistent way is to add the other things while the chocolate is still in the pan. Stir there and then spread over the wax paper with a spatula. I put mine in the freezer to let them harden more quickly.

The best of the bunch was the peppermint bark. The bacon bark was somehow a miss, and the cranberry almond bark...well--I don't like cranberries. There were on sale.

The sugar cookies (not pictured) were from Paula Deen's recipe--the tastiest and best one to work with, hands down. I like mine a little thicker and make super thick icing. Rob helped me ice this year and did a fabulous job. I sadly only made one batch for the boys' teachers and other workers at their school and never made more like I usually do.

By far the most popular item was the Christmas crack, found via Pinterest. I used to make something similar but with graham crackers and without the chocolate on top. I used the matzoh crackers this year and they were seriously good. My brother sent me a text today saying he would pay me to make him more. THAT good.

The bath bombs were a new experiment. I found the recipe on Pinterest, and found that it wasn't hard, but definitely required precision. It was also tough to find the citric acid, and more expensive ($5) than I wanted it to be. I used plastic eggs since I didn't have a spherical mold, and they were too big. I used a tablespoon to make small ones from the remainder, and those were the best. Next time, I'd do that. But I'm not sure there would be a next time--a lot of work for what was a so-so product. Plus I saw them for super sale the next week, and after spending a long time to make a very few, it seemed like a waste.

Hints for making Christmas gifts:

-Make sure you have all your packaging and shipping things on hand BEFORE you make your gifts. That way you will actually give them out. You'll also know how much of everything to make.
-Don't try a recipe for the first time right before your deadline of sending or giving gifts. Stick with tried and true recipes.
-If it's cheaper to buy than make, BUY. Keep it simple.
-Start EARLY. Or prepare to send New Year's gifts like I am.

Christmas Fun and Fail

2011-12-25T20:02:00.001-06:00

Today was a really nice Christmas. We had church, which I very much protested, only to listen to our pastor talk about the ridiculousness of NOT being on church today of days--Christmas ON a Sunday. He's right, of course, but I think there is so much tradition and memory tied up in Christmas and those things clashed with the idea of having to get up and get dressed and get the boys dressed in time for church. Namely, my parents, bro, and I like to do Christmas in pajamas. We sit around and eat great breakfast in pjs and open gifts and play Christmas music. That didn't mesh well with church in my mind. Still, the service was lovely and a great way to really celebrate Christmas. Then we came home, put on pajamas (maybe that was just me) and opened gifts and ate food.

Here's where the fail comes in: I baked two things today, and they were both TERRIBLE. I almost never have kitchen fails. Yes, I set things on fire and chop off parts of my fingers on a regular basis, but as far as taste, I'm usually fine. I like to think I have pretty good instincts in the kitchen. But this morning, in my pre-coffee fog, I added 1/3 cup milk instead of 1 cup milk to the cinnamon roll dough. This mattered a LOT. See?

They were barely edible. This is AFTER baking. I call them cinnamon rock n' rolls. If you want the recipe for them (which is GREAT if you measure correctly) you can find it HERE. When it came time for dinner, we needed more ham biscuits for our Virginia feast (Smithfield ham biscuits and Brunswick stew), I decided to make more biscuits. Only, we were out of butter, so I used a really weird recipe for them and they turned out flat and crunchy like crackers. Sigh. Double fail!

Despite that, it was a lovely day. Present overload, plus America's Funniest Home Videos on Netflix for some loud laughter. There's nothing funnier than people falling down and my theory that monkeys are evil was proved in a 40 second clip of monkeys attacking people. Here are some fun photos from the day.

Almost a perfect Christmas card photo...

Lincoln tries to steal the show.

If only Tex would stop licking Linc.

That'll do, pig. As good as it gets, I guess?

We had some fun snuggly time.

And Linc channeled a reindeer.

Apparently, when he wears antlers, Linc feels compelled to say "ho ho ho."

Geoff gave me the finger.

And Linc gave Big Bear a hug.

Tomorrow we'll do the Black Oliphant gift exchange and the gum tree over at Rob's parents' house. (Rob's mom hangs chewing gum from the actual gum tree.) Maybe I'll be inspired and skate over again. Probably not. It's very wet and gross here. I think Houston got out of the drought as a Christmas present, so I can't be sad about that!

Merry Christmas to all! Anyone hitting the stores tomorrow for great sales??

Thing I Have Not Done for Christmas

2011-12-25T00:46:00.000-06:00

Oh! Hello, blog. I'd almost forgotten about you in the midst of all the things I have not yet done. Here's a little list for you of things yet to do before TOMORROW.

-buy gifts
-wrap gifts
-write Christmas letters (a new tradition of mine--to my close fam)
-decorate the tree
-send those pesky packages to my family
-get Sawyer a tetanus shot (story on that later)
-clean my house
-water the tree

See? I've been busy! But don't ask what I've been busy doing, because clearly I have been missing out on some major parts of the holiday season. Oh--and our van's maintenance required light is on and my phone broke and all of our light bulbs burned out at one time. Plus it's raining--ick! I was definitely not dreaming of a wet Christmas.

I am, however, really excited about Christmas tomorrow. We have a service tonight that is kid-friendly, which means there will be a dull roar throughout. I love it. Tomorrow I am making my Christmas cinnamon rolls and my mom is doing her sausage and egg casserole, then Monday we are having the Black Oliphant gift exchange, always exciting.

[Twelve hours later...]

I have now done almost all of those things. Except write letters, send packages, get Saw a tetanus shot (story on why not later), water and decorate the tree. Yawn.

Just Call Me Princess Dirtball

2011-12-22T00:17:00.002-06:00

I am sitting beside a slowly dying fire. It's been going since about seven, keeping me and my toes warm as I listen to the rain, eat garlic, and simultaneously play computer games and watch a subtitled movie. (Neither the movie or the game is going well.) I made this fire, without using a match, from logs I started burning this morning and set aside. Some of you are thinking, no big deal. Others may be amazed by my prowess. I hope that more of you fall into that second category, because I'm going to talk a little bit about fire-making.

I can build a good fire, even if from embers of a fire the night before. I feel that this is one of my essential skills, like map-reading. An oddity, but something I could (not really) make a living out of if I needed to.

I learned this from one of my favorite childhood activities: Indian Princesses. I think they've renamed it Adventure Guides now (if it exists at all), but it was a program through the YMCA whereby dads and daughters went camping. I'm sure we did other things, but the camping is what I remember. They are some of my favorite childhood memories. In Indian Princesses, girls all had a Princess name and the dads had a Brave name. I was Princess Running Eagle and my Dad was Brave Badger. (I should point out that I realize this is probably all very offensive to Native Americans--which is undoubtedly why the program changed.) When we went on camping trips, I was typically the last one asleep and the first one awake. I made it my goal to re-start the fire from the embers the night before.

This is how my name changed to Princess Dirtball.

I was so proud of my ability to get a roaring fire going at six in the morning that I didn't realize how I looked, all covered in ash. Apparently, I looked like a little girl covered in dirt and ash. I didn't care then and I don't care now, still covered in ash, smelling of smoke, and warmed by the fire I made. Which I think is now leaking smoke into my living room. Excuse me while I go make sure the flu is still open.

Christmas Losses

2011-12-21T14:12:00.000-06:00

There's never a good time to lose someone you love. Period. But I think during this season, when so many families gather together to celebrate (whether Christmas or another holiday), losing someone is especially difficult.

I just got word that an old friend from high school, Patrick Kelly, is fighting what seems to be a losing battle with brain cancer and something the doctors have yet to identify. He survived cancer in his 20s only to have it return recently. He is married and has a two and a half year old daughter. I cannot imagine spending my Christmas by a hospital bedside rather than here at home baking chocolate bacon bark with my family all around me.

Though we didn't really keep in touch, this news is so heavy. His wife has organized a prayer vigil for him online, which is already full. People from all over the world and from different backgrounds are lifting up Patrick right now. Save a miracle, it sounds like his time is passing very quickly. If you want to pray for Patrick or read more of his story, you can click HERE to find his site.

I am so thankful for Lynn's recent good news, and will be hoping and praying for Patrick's family to welcome good news through a miracle of God this Christmas week.

Double Ear Infection All Across the Sky

2011-12-21T13:50:00.000-06:00

Not quite as catchy as double rainbow, but infinitely more painful. Linc got a fever Monday, the perked up yesterday until post-nap time. Poor little dude woke up crying and cried for like half an hour straight (maybe the record for his whole life) and kept saying, "No! Owie!" The doctor worked us in and my first guess was correct: double-ear infection. I think Saw probably had one last week, but he never got to the point where it seemed sure, it was just suspicion. The doctor looked at poor Linc and said, "Yup, this one's bad. OH. This one's worse."

He's happily on antibiotics and seems to feel much better. While my boys are healthier and happier than most kids I know, I feel like we have taken up residence at the pediatrician's office lately. Such is winter with small kids, I guess. I have friends whose whole families have pneumonia or the stomach flu, and so I feel very grateful to have one kid sick with something non-contagious and fixed by delicious medicine. (No, I haven't tried it, but remember it from childhood. It's yummy. Sawyer keeps trying to steal it.)

So, anyone else get sickness for Christmas?

December in Numbers

2011-12-20T22:50:00.002-06:00

Numbers of:

Nights I've gone to sleep after 1am: 12
Sticks of butter I've used: 16
Bags of chocolate chips I've bought: 6
Boys who've been sick: 2
Weeks we've been on amoiocillin: 3
Packages I still need to mail: 4
Presents I still need to buy: 20
Boxes of matzoh I've eaten: 1
Times I've vowed to stop eating junk tomorrow: 19
Parking tickets I've gotten: 1
Cups of coffee I've drunk: (roughly) 120

Circus or Olympics

2011-12-20T06:55:00.000-06:00

Those are pretty much the best options for my boys and career paths.

Daily Disaster

2011-12-20T06:53:00.003-06:00

How has this not happened before during nap time?

S: Mom, I had a marker and it had chemicals in it and then I put it in my eye and my eye has chemicals in it and I'm sad.
M: I'm pretty sure that's not true.

If You're Going to Rake, Rake for Fun

2011-12-20T06:48:00.000-06:00

Since it's fall now in winter, the boys have had some fun playing in the leaves. I was actually surprised to hear the sounds of raking yesterday while Rob was out with the boys and I was cleaning the kitchen. Rob has a thing about raking. He doesn't like to do it. Well--it's not that he doesn't like it, more that he feels like you rake, and then more leaves fall and you have to rake again, so why rake at all? Hence, my surprise to hear raking sounds from our yard.

When I went outside, lo and behold! A raked pile of leaves! Rob assured me that I didn't need to freak out, thinking he'd changed. The leaf pile was just for the boys to jump in. You know, if my husband is going to rake, I think that raking for the sake of the boys playing is probably the nobler cause.

Christmas in Fall

2011-12-20T06:34:00.003-06:00

I am amazed every December when fall hits Houston. Growing up in Virginia, I am used to glowing, gorgeous falls where the air gets smoky and cool and the leaves take on reds and golds. In Texas, everything looks the same until about mid-December, when all the leaves suddenly change in a week and fall off. Well, the leaves that change anyway. There is still a lot of green, and a lot of trees here never lose their leaves at all. But we do have a fall, and it just happened.

See? Mostly everything is still green.

Fall in Texas may happen in December and include 20% of trees. But it's still pretty! Merry Christmas and happy Fall.

THIS Kind of Morning

2011-12-20T06:24:00.004-06:00

I woke up at 5-something-a.m., hearing Lincoln. He had a fever yesterday, so I wasn't sure if he was feeling bad or just wanted some milk. (Fever gone, hurrah!) I had been really hot during the night and when I got up, I was drenched in sweat.

Then I realized that I was way too drenched for it to be sweat.

Ew. I think Sawyer came into our bed during the night and maybe peed on me. Everyone is still asleep so I'll have to investigate later, but I hope this does not set the tone for the rest of today. :)

Community Coffee Houston Deal--Ends TUESDAY!

2011-12-19T23:10:00.002-06:00

If you are in the (I believe) Southwest region for Kroger, you can snag a great community coffee deal that may end today. I know that this is at least good in Houston. Community Coffee is on sale 2/$9. This does NOT mean you have to buy 2, by the way. The bags of coffee have a $1/1 coupon, making each bag $3.50.

Make sure you grab a bag with the coupon--my store had some small peelies on the bag and then some larger coupons they had taped on the bags. There were still a few bags that did not have coupons, and I almost forgot to turn in my coupons. Doh! This is a pretty sweet deal for coffee if you don't want to go super high end, but also don't want Folgers or something. I think this actually beats the deals I find on Folgers, but I can't fully vouch for that. Stock up while you still can!

Fat Lips and Christmas

2011-12-19T09:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I had a hard time getting out the door for church. It should have been easier than normal: Rob didn't have to go to his super early meeting and so I was actually able to take a shower. A shower!

When I went to leave with the boys, Sawyer lined up by the door as he does for school, declared himself the line leader, and told Lincoln that he needed to line up behind him. While Sawyer apparently does this at school (and maybe church, too), it's new for Lincoln. He just wants to do whatever Sawyer wants to do, which meant lining up next to him at the door. Sawyer freaked out because Lincoln was doing it wrong, and while I tried to explain to Sawyer that he could still be the line leader if Lincoln was beside him, he pushed Linc pretty hard and Linc went face-first into a chair.

There was bleeding and crying and then discipline for Sawyer so everyone was crying. (Except me. But I was close.) In the midst of me trying to talk him through other options when this situation happens (because it WILL happen again), Sawyer said he wanted some water. I told him to wait until we were done talking, but Lincoln ran off, found the water, and brought it to his brother. The same brother who, only moments before, smashed his face into a chair.

Linc was still bleeding, puffy faced, still crying. Sawyer had not yet gone to tell Lincoln he was sorry or asked for forgiveness. And yet, when Lincoln heard his brother express a need, ran (not walked) to meet that need. It was a really sweet moment.

It reminded me of Christmas. It reminded me of Jesus.

Romans 5:7-8 is a favorite pair of verses for me. It says (in Kiki paraphrase) that it takes a lot for someone to die for another person, even if the person you are dying for is a good person. But Jesus died for us when we were his enemies.

If you haven't thought of yourself as an enemy of Jesus, this might sound kind of harsh or offensive. Most of us like to think of ourselves as pretty good. No one is perfect, but we're okay. I'm not sure why, but when asked about this kind of thing, people generally say something like, "Well, I haven't murdered anyone." From a Biblical point of view, while most of us aren't murderers, we are enemies of God by default. We primarily want what WE want, not what God wants. (Ephesians 2:1-10 has a great deal to say about this.) I think the fact that many people would be (and maybe are right now, reading this) offended by the idea that they would NEED a savior shows how we are all by nature enemies of God.

Lincoln's act reminded me of this Biblical perspective. Not that Lincoln is any less selfish than the rest of us--he just loves his brother and maybe has some of that second child's desire to please. But in that moment, Sawyer was still his enemy. Lincoln was bleeding and had a fat lip from Sawyer pushing him. And yet, Lincoln showed love to Sawyer on his own initiative. Sawyer didn't deserve such grace in the moment, and actually wasn't grateful that Lincoln brought him the water.

Christmas is a time to look at the baby in the manger and see past him to the man on the cross. He came and lived a perfect life (because we can't) and died in our place (so we wouldn't have to). All while we were still enemies, before we thought we needed any saving at all.

Thanks for the reminder, Lincoln.

I Rode a Camel

2011-12-19T01:01:00.000-06:00

So did my kids. I should probably mention that. There was a fabulous live nativity put on by churches in and near Spring Valley. If they do it again, I will definitely put up info next year! It was crowded, but really fun and FREE!

Figuring out the settings on my camera while Saw, Bea and Hardy play with a donkey.

Oddly, the kids sat and listened to a choir. I think the draw was the hay bale?

It snowed! Not really. But they somehow made snow. And my friend and teammate and fellow mom Shank tiptoed through it with her coffee.

Saw trying to escape the snow. He got cold and took off his shoes, socks, and then later--pants.

Flattering angle. For the camel, I mean.

I like that Sawyer is petting him. Also, that he didn't fall off.

A-camel riding we shall go.

Daily Disaster #4--Er, #3

2011-12-17T22:19:00.002-06:00

This happened. In my dryer. I do not know how, but my sheet now has a hole in it because cutting it off was the only fix.

I guess the thing got caught in the door shutting mechanism, then wound up that tightly when the dryer came on. Has this ever happened to anyone else??

Daily Disaster #2

2011-12-17T22:18:00.000-06:00

Tex killed this monkey to get out the squeaky part inside, which actually made horrible monkey shrieking sounds. It was a gift from my teammate, Norma Leigh Sane. I hate monkeys, and so people tend to give them to me as gifts. If any of you give me a real monkey, I will shoot it. For real.

Daily Disaster #1

2011-12-17T22:16:00.003-06:00

Mulch. In the bathtub. I don't know how, I don't know why. But: MULCH. (And some sand.)

While they were in there and I started seeing it underneath the bubbles, I actually thought it was poop, which would have been MORE of a disaster. I think an outside toy must have been a carrier somehow.

Boy Mayhem

2011-12-17T22:14:00.002-06:00

This is not a well-taken photo, but it is a GREAT one. Rob is crashing after an all-night lock-in with the youth, Linc is tossing a little dude up in the air, and Saw is in the back with a grabber, coming to get YOU.

Managing Failure

2011-12-17T00:40:00.000-06:00

My gym has recently switched my favorite smutty station (E!) for my least favorite sporty one (ESPN) so I have been forced to branch out. The other morning I caught a few minutes of Live with Kelly...and Michael Buble. I don't know what the official name is now that Regis is gone, but that's beside the point.

Kelly was giving Michael Buble some advice about parenting. I couldn't find a clip anywhere, but to paraphrase, she said that parenting involves a lot of failure. The good days, she said (or I think she said--again, paraphrase) were days where we managed the failure.

Michael Buble looked terrified, but I loved it. LOVED. IT.

I've talked a lot about failure on my blog. I actually did a search for the word on my blog and found some posts HERE or HERE if you want a refresher. I am not really a negative person--I would classify myself as a pessi-realist. What I love most is being real and honest. If you're wondering why I post things like unflattering photos of myself at My Morning Hair or talk about poop or show you my couch piled high with laundry that I haven't put away, it's because I like keeping it real. Part of keeping it real in parenting (I think) is talking about failure.

Failure has such negative connotations. But really, I think when you embrace and recognize that we all fail at lots of things, it's kind of freeing. (I also don't mean major failures. Small kitchen fires, not burning the house down.) I love that Kelly Ripa, she of tiny body and tall shoes and fancy job and long-running marriage, can put it out there that she fails. When you see someone who has all those things, you can assume they have it all together. Or that they think they have it all together. When I hear someone like Kelly Ripa admit that she fails on a daily basis, I feel kind of warm inside.

I fail at a long list of things daily. Want me to share? Okay! I fail at putting away laundry. (I just remembered I was supposed to be doing that instead of blogging.) I fail at going to bed before midnight. (Oops.) I fail at embracing the chaos of life with kids. I fail at little disciplines, like NOT eating all of the chocolate truffles or (again) going to bed on time. I fail at cleaning the bathrooms and matching socks out of the dryer.

Parenting is messy. For me, it seems to involve a long list of things that I'll never get done. It means little sleep, sometimes impatience, and more joy and fun and laughter than I ever knew before having kids. There are successes, but they are often fleeting and hard to quantify--like doing something that makes your kids really laugh. Managing failure is something I can manage.

Do you agree with Kelly Ripa (and me) that parenting is about managing failure? Discuss among yourselves. Feel free to share our failures so we can all feel better about ourselves.

Oh, and the BEST News!

2011-12-16T23:37:00.000-06:00

For those of you who have been keeping up with Lynn and her cancer struggle this year, we got the news this week that she has no traces of cancer. She finished up chemo last week and now will be on a rotation of tests every few months. We have a few friends who have come through cancer and are now on the every-few-months rotation, like our great friend from Greensboro, Jenny. If you want to read more from Buck on the experience, you can read the latest entry HERE.

Busy Week

2011-12-16T23:16:00.002-06:00

I am tired!

I have all these blog posts stored up and hope to poop them out sometime soon. I thought that would be today, but then I was too tired. And busy. I thought about taking a photo of my laundry for a Daily Disaster post. But then there was the incident with the mulch in the bathtub, so I have a Daily Disaster post! Plus the one from when Tex destroyed that monkey. (It was a toy, but I wish it had been a real monkey.)

Oh! And in my parents neighborhood, a pack of coyotes (a PACK!) "devoured" (actual words from an official email) a pet dog in a fenced-in backyard. It's wild here.

And fall is happening, which means that the trees are red and yellow. The ones that aren't palms or live oaks, I mean. I have photos to prove it! But I would have to go in the other room to print them and I am in a rut on my couch watching "The Office" and digesting the box of Harry & David truffles I just ate.

So maybe I'll be back tomorrow with leaves, disasters, and also maybe some thoughts on Kelly Ripa.

Sawyer On: Christmas Carols

2011-12-14T15:19:00.002-06:00

Sawyer is really into the Christmas spirit. And by that I mean...well. You'll see.

M: Sawyer, do you know any Christmas songs?
S: [singing] We wish you a Merry Christmas!
Pleeeeaaase bring me lots of presents
And a special choooocolate treat!

And then I tried to teach him a song. Which he knew...sort of.

M: [singing] Joy to the world!
S: [singing] The love is gone!

I can see how he got the words mixed up to that one, but it really cracked me up.

Too Young to Retire

2011-12-14T09:45:00.001-06:00

For the past two months, I've been thinking about derby.

Derby and I have a long history, especially considering I just made it through my first ever full season. Five years ago I heard about derby. I bought skates and began skating outdoors since we were living in a place that didn't have a league. I even took a speed skating class with a bunch of eleven-year-old boys who had their most embarrassing and awesome moments ever when we did a pushing drill and they had to push a 20-something woman around a rink by the bum.

Four years ago we moved to Houston and I tried out for the league. I made it. And promptly got pregnant. I planned to stick around on a pregnancy leave and come right back, but after getting cussed out on the track by a skater who felt it was unsafe, I thought it best to quit for the time being. Six weeks after Sawyer I was skating again with the rec league, then six months later I tried out again and made it.

I skated for six months, then found out I was pregnant. Again, I opted to stay and called lineups for the team all season. Almost two years ago, I had my unplanned c-section with Lincoln, which meant six months out of contact. Not wanting to take up a spot on my team (so they could draft other skaters in my spot), I quit. Six months later, I tried out (again) and made it (again) and made it through a whole off-season and whole season without getting pregnant. It's a lot of years for so little time on the track!

After this year's championship game, my brother said, "Man, you must be tired." And I said, "No--I'm really not." I wasn't. I could have (and would have) skated another game right then if I could have. In that moment I realized that I really didn't feel DONE.

We really do want more kids. But. I am really happy with the pace of life right now. Even though I'm not getting any younger, I'm not out of time either. And while I joke (but am serious) about coming back to derby when I'm 50, there's no way that I'll ever be in the shape I'm in now. I feel like I'm on the verge of being the skater I want to be, and it's so hard to think about walking (or skating) away when I'm not quite there yet. A few more games...and maybe.

I've never been an athlete or had a sport I was passionate about. I played soccer and tennis in club leagues and a bit for school, and while I enjoyed them, I didn't really have PASSION. Derby is something I've been passionate about since I first heard of the sport. If anything, I'm more passionate now than I was. It's weird. And I love it.

So as soon as the game was over, I told my captains I wanted to take a leave of absence rather than retire and think about coming back. It's not just about having more kids--derby is expensive and takes time. It also takes babysitting. Rob works most nights I have practice which means we need babysitters. Both my parents and Rob's parents have spent so many nights putting my kids to bed this past year! (Thank you! Thank you!) I think they needed a break as well. And while Rob is gone most of those nights that I am, we still want to make sure we are having enough family time. I didn't want to make a decision (even though I really, really wanted it) without us both being totally on board. Last week, we both decided it was a go.

I think we have found a way to solve some of those time issues--Rob is not working one of the nights and so he'll be home with the boys. I stepped down from being a head or co-head of two committees and will work on a committee instead of heading them up. I am going to guard my home time while still giving my all to my team.

I AM SO STINKING EXCITED.

This season, Houston Roller Derby will be at the Verizon Theater downtown. Games start in March and I will hopefully play again with our B travel team, the Knockouts. I can't wait!!! If you haven't been out yet, I hope you will snag some tickets and come out! (Check out the site HERE for more details.)

I said when I was in preschool that I wanted to be a roller skater when I grew up, so I am now living my dream.

Visit with Ginny: Recap

2011-12-14T09:27:00.002-06:00

It's hard to believe my visit with Ginny even happened--it was so fast! She flew in really late Thursday and left early Sunday morning. We spent two days staying up late, eating, playing with the boys, laughing, and catching up on life. It's hard having your bestest friends live across the country! I'm always telling people that I want to sort of suck out all the states in the middle (sorry, guys!) so that Virginia and Texas (and maybe, if I'm gracious, the Carolinas) are touching.

In any case, we forgot to take photos, except for these cute ones of Ginny and Lincoln. Sawyer did his weird testing thing with Ginny, so she only got to see a bit of his sweet side. For whatever reason, he tends to balk at people who are usually the best with kids. I think he likes taking the initiative, or somehow gets threatened by people who really take an interest in him. Kids!

I'm sad she's gone and hope for a longer visit next time, or maybe a miracle and more than one visit a year. But this little visit will tide me over for a bit. Thanks for coming, Ginny!

The Day after Two Days Ago

2011-12-14T09:21:00.001-06:00

That title is an awesome mind puzzle, and basically means yesterday. I meant to write yesterday about yesterday, which was the day after a really horrible two days ago, but I got caught up making cookies for Sawyer's class and then playing online Dominion with Rob. (We like the card game, but he has gotten me hooked on the online version, which requires less clean-up.)

In any case, I wrote two days ago about how difficult it was with Sawyer. Then we had yesterday. He woke up a different boy. He was very sweet and normal in the morning before school and then when I picked him up from school, he greeted Lincoln with a kiss, saying, "I missed you!" (They are in the same school, but different classes.) When we got home, he asked to take his rest time, which really meant he wanted to play in his room alone. Odd, for sure. Lincoln wanted so badly to be in there, and Sawyer graciously said that he'd like Lincoln to play. The funny thing is that Sawyer said Lincoln had to take his pants off, because Sawyer basically takes his clothes off as soon as he gets home. They get in the way, I guess?

For a solid HOUR the two of them played without me needing to intervene in any way. Compared to the every-two-minutes of rebellion the day before, this was amazing! I loved watching the two of them play a game they made up called Fire (in which Sawyer runs around with a toy that he thinks is a hose, squirting Lincoln to put the fire out). They made a huge pile of pillows in the floor and I even let them jump off the couch for a while. Thankfully, no broken bones or cracked heads.

I had my own much needed rest while the boys were in school (and by rest, I mean I got a lot of work done in the peace and quiet of an empty house), but having them both home and playing together was even more rejuvenating. It was lovely. Here are some photos of the polar opposite day.

Sawyer, mid-leap. The pillow game ended when Sawyer climbed on top of the back of the couch and leaped off. Yikes.

Fire! I guess in this game, Lincoln is on fire? I'm not really sure. But they seemed to like it.

Lincoln, exhausted from all the play with his big brother.

You don't always know why kids act out. And you don't always know why they stop. I know we are called to give thanks in all circumstances (and I did actually pray and thank God for my awful day in the midst of it), but I am for SURE feeling more thankful on days like yesterday.

Daily Disaster Love

2011-12-13T12:21:00.002-06:00

One of the newer features of Blogger is being able to very easily see how many pageviews each post gets. Some people just refresh the main page a few times a day and some are email subscribers. But then there are those of you who read post by post, mostly thanks to (I think) Facebook allowing me to post up links.

This lets me see which posts are the most popular. And you know what? You guys seem to LOVE my daily disasters. Like, love them more than twice the amount you love most of my other posts.

Maybe I need to hone the craft of disaster-making so that my blog can be more relevant and grow in its readership.

Things I Am Thankful for Today

2011-12-13T12:09:00.003-06:00

-the boys sleeping in until 7:45
-the smell of Christmas tree
-cheese
-a lovely morning with no tears
-a quiet morning with the boys at school
-Derek Webb
-cumin
-a reminder via Psalm 49 that though ransoming a soul is too costly for man, Jesus paid the ransom for us
-coffee
-heavy trash day
-organizing 180 pages of manuscript--YAY!

Today Was...a Monday

2011-12-12T22:11:00.001-06:00

Garfield did his best to prepare me for the world of Mondays. Somehow, I'm still unprepared for days like today.

It could have been any day, really--Tuesday used to be the worst day of the week for me. I don't really think the awfulness of today had to do with the day of the week. But it is nice to have something to blame, or to be able to say that you have a case of the Mondays.

Really, the person with the case of the Mondays was Sawyer. Though he has been really lovely and good for the most part lately, today he was insane. InSANE. It wasn't that he did any one terrible thing or that anything he really did was terrible. It was more the consistent rebellious attitude. Several instances of peeing in places he shouldn't on purpose. Lots of hitting, talking back, yelling, tantrum-throwing.

I am exhausted.

Every now and then, there are just days like this. Maybe he has an ear infection after the whole cough from a few weeks back. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he's having another growth spurt. Maybe he's a three-year-old.

Sometimes when I have these days, I almost lose my mind. Rob doesn't like it when I say that, mostly because I think he thinks I mean it. Really what I think I almost lose is my patience. In fact, I don't just almost lose it; some days like this (or just other, random days) I lose it and yell or snap or find myself throwing my hands up in the air or crying in a closet or calling someone like Rob or my parents or his parents for help.

Today I didn't lose my patience. (Mostly.) I did feel like I was going to explode sometimes, but was able to speak calmly and rationally and discipline Saw what felt a million times. I did call Rob for help, but it was at the end of the day and only because I didn't want to risk a trip to the grocery store with Sawyer in his current mood. I was patient, though forcibly so. I did yell a few times, but mostly because it was the kind of day where Saw didn't hear me if I wasn't yelling--not because I was just angry.

The nice thing about today was that it was a day that drove me toward God. I've been trying to get up at like 6:30, just before my kids, to have some time with Jesus. But I stayed up super late the past four nights, so that didn't happen. Today, as soon as the boys went down for nap and rest time, I ran to the Bible. I found a great comfort in Psalm 46:1- "The Lord is our refuge and strength, our very present help in trouble." I needed a refuge and a strength, but what I REALLY needed was a very present help. Thinking of God being very present while I was dealing with another round of shouting or hitting or tears or peeing on the rug was what got me through the day.

I am thankful that the boys have school tomorrow, because I can use a day of resting. We had some fun and lovely moments today, too, even in the chaos and challenge, but I am still exhausted. Three cheers for God's very present help and for the boys being in mother's day out a few days a week.

Overheard in the Kitchen

2011-12-12T21:30:00.000-06:00

M: We're having ham tettrazini tomorrow night.
R: Ham what?
M: It's one of Kandy's recipes, though I lost the recipe. Ham, pasta and a creamy sauce. We have that whole ham and it needs to feed us for the week.
R: It's got a FETUS IN IT? GROSS.

This year, like last year, I stole the ham from my Boss Christmas party. (Ps- The Bosses are my derby team, not actual bosses. I have no boss.) This year, unlike last year, I had permission to steal the ham. And because I was a bit over (read: a lot over) last week's grocery budget, it really will feed us this week. So we don't get sick of it, I'm making hot ham and cheese sandwiches (Lynn's recipe, slightly modified) and ham tettrazini (Kandy's recipe, mostly modified since I can't find it) and who knows what else. Maybe hot ham water (Lindsay Bluth's recipe). Thanks, Betty Watchett, for feeding my family!

Eggplant-a-looza

2011-12-12T15:38:00.002-06:00

Eggplants are $1 each right now at Kroger, which is a huge sale considering they are usually $2.49 apiece. I love eggplant parmigiana but have found a few quick and easy ways to dish it up that don't make me drive to the store if I don't have everything. Here's one of my favorite quick ones that involves no breading if you need lower carbs or don't have bread crumbs or something.

Egg Wash Eggplant

1 egg
1 eggplant, sliced width-wise so it's in smaller circles
salt, pepper, olive oil

Beat an egg in a shallow bowl with salt and pepper. Heat a few tablespoons of oil in the pan to medium high. Dredge each slice of eggplant in the egg wash, shaking off excess, and drop into the pan. You want the pan hot so the eggs will start frying up on the outside of the eggplant. If you use too much oil, the eggplant will get grossly soggy. Flip after a minute or two when the egg is nicely brown on the outside of the eggplant.

I eat these plain, but you could put cheese on top or marinara. I meant to add a photo, but, well--I couldn't stop myself from eating long enough to take a picture. Maybe next time. I plan to buy a whole lot of dollar eggplants!

Mad Scientist Hair

2011-12-12T15:31:00.004-06:00

I just gave the boys haircuts (photo to follow once I can make them sit still) and man, did they need it in a major way. Mostly Lincoln, who has insane duck fluff hair.

Look at that face. Even HE knows his hair is out of control. I'll try to tie them down later for a photo opp.

Daily Disaster

2011-12-12T15:29:00.001-06:00

This is what sometimes happen now that Sawyer has a "rest time" instead of napping.

He de-stuffed a pillow and played in it like snow. Very creative, albeit destructive. Not fun to clean up. I helped (if you don't help with a 3-year old, you end up with a mess still) but made him do most of the picking up.

The good thing is that it kept him occupied for the whole 2 hours of his rest time. (And it was an old, ugly pillow I didn't mind tossing.) That's a long time to leave a kid alone in a room and generally he plays very well by himself, but the mess is sometimes insane. If it's not this, it's dumping out every toy and book. I do make him clean whatever he gets out, but man he can destroy so much in that time. But it's also Mommy Sanity Recovery Time, so we are keeping Rest Time. I think I might need to invest in a rubber room for it...

The First of Firsts

2011-12-11T22:54:00.001-06:00

It's been a while since we've had a first with our boys. Today we had an unwelcome (but long-awaited) one: Lincoln figured out how to climb out of the crib. Gasp!

Saw did this when he was around a year old, so I couldn't believe that it took Linc this long. I know he could have done it a long time ago, but since he loves sleep, he hasn't ever fought being put to bed. He'll sometimes still take us to his room and make us put him to bed.

I'm not sure what this will mean for us, but it definitely means my boy is growing up.

I've Been MIA! (Not the Rapper.)

2011-12-11T22:20:00.001-06:00

Sorry to disappear on you. I think I forgot the warning that my best friend Ginny was coming into town. She was here three days and I joked that I wouldn't let her sleep because we had so much hanging out to do. The joke turned into a reality, and now I'm still exhausted--even after a nap. That's right, I took a NAP.

Photos of things to follow, but first a few sites that have been making me giggle--and sort of fawn over the creative and artistic genius.

First up is an Etsy store called Mincing Mockingbird. The artist paints really lovely acrylic birds and has originals, prints, magnets and more. The thing that makes them so wonderful (besides aesthetically looking great!) is that they have wonderful names like "Somehow Managing without Reality Television" or have oddly brilliant captions on the prints such as "He gave them the heebie jeebies. He had nothing else to give." Or, a personal favorite: "Can I get a who who?" on an owl print. They are beautiful and they are clever. You can snag a magnet for as little as $4.50. I would totally use magnets on my fridge if I had these. LOVE.

The second is a site that I should have heard about before: Steotch. I am not really into cross-stich, but the site has even been featured on Huffington Post. Plus, I went to college with the creators, Matt and Em. We weren't close, but hung in the same circles, and they got married soon after, had a few kids, and turned their humor and fine motor skills into a fabulous bunch of ridiculously funny and pop-culture-y cross-stitches. Ginny was lovely enough to share their site with me and I spent a long time laughing through their work. Em does the needle-point and she and Matt together brainstorm the ideas, which feature everything from pop culture icons like Dr. House to old-school rap and even a nod here and there to I Can Has Cheezburger. You can even buy some of the patterns if you are so inclined. Way to go, Matt and Em!

I'll be back soon with personal stuff about me and my life, but for now you can check out what I've been laughing at lately.

Bad Ideas I've Had Today

2011-12-08T12:40:00.001-06:00

Using the vacuum cleaner to clear the dust out of our fireplace.

Somewhere in a Rain Forest, a Tree Just Wept

2011-12-08T11:38:00.001-06:00

You see that giant stack of papers, complete with pink and blue Post-Its? That's my NOVEL. Or, as I am supposed to call it, my manuscript. Because I haven't numbered everything fully yet, I don't know the exact page number. My estimate is that what you see before you is about 400 pages. Maybe more. (I am still waiting on 15-20 more pages I forgot to print.) It's a BEAST.

I'm at the point now of hard, hard work. It's so encouraging to have something so massive, to be able to say, "Yeah, I've got this little thing I've been working on that's you know, only just 400 PAGES."

(As a brief but necessary note, I must tell you that I wanted to add "BOI!" at the end of that sentence, much like Vanilla Ice did in at least one song on his "To the Extreme" album. The thing is that I didn't know how to spell it. It sounds like boy-eeeeeee! And is always the kind of word that will have an exclamation point afterward. Whereas in song or spoken word, "boi" works well for emphasis, it looks really dumb in print. I had to look it up on a slang dictionary. It just does not carry the weight in print that it does in spoken word. So if you would like to humor me, read my quotation out loud and add "boi!" to the end of it and you'll properly know how I feel about the length of my 400-PAGE manuscript.)

Back to the hard work, it's lovely to have something huge to work with, and helps my brain. But the flip side is that it's 400 pages that need to be edited. A lot will probably be deleted. All the blue Post-Its are scenes or chapters that need to go, simply based on the plot changing as I worked. That still leaves a lot of pink. This is where I must see the pages that contain bare bones become beauty. It's rolling up your sleeves kind of work. It's to the mattresses.

Before I have to go take a sedative thinking about all the work ahead, let me just bask in those 400 pages for a moment. I have written 400 (terrible and drafty) pages. Boi!

Emotional Three-Year-Old Breakdowns

2011-12-08T09:37:00.001-06:00

It's that time again--when I come to you, my readers for help. Help!

Lately, Sawyer has been having some trouble dealing with his emotions. He's three. This is par for the course. But this is my first three-year-old and I am struggling with the right way to handle some of his emotions. I'll give you some examples and then you can (hopefully?) offer some thoughts.

When things happen that are upsetting to him, he runs to his room (or behind a couch or chair) and cries. This is different (and yet similar?) to throwing the tantrums that kids start throwing when they're two. Except that his behavior isn't meant to get him his way--he isn't asking for whatever it is he wants, he's crying by himself. He doesn't want to be around anyone. It's not just for attention--he really and truly is upset and feels he has to leave the situation. Examples of when this happens: if he wants a toy that Lincoln is playing with or if Lincoln takes something from him; if his food isn't the right way.

Confused about that second thing? That leads me to the next part that relates.

Food. Sawyer has become a little OCD about his food. (I'm not sure I'm using that term loosely anymore--is he getting OCD? I don't know.) Yesterday, he wanted a cracker and the box was down to the dregs. He got a cracker that was almost whole but missing a tiny piece. This was devastating to him. He has really been into candy canes this season and I'm okay with that as candy to give him maybe one a day. But if it's broken...forget it. A whole one fell in the floor and shattered into three pieces and he hid behind a chair and wept. Lincoln drank out of his water cup and he cried. If his food is cut or NOT cut when he wants it, he doesn't want to eat it.

Now, if you're like me and don't want spoiled kids, you're reading this and going, "Well, duh. He just wants his way." Yes. We ALL want our way. And that is surely a part of what's going on. But I am also, as his parent, seeing more in these situations.

For sure, Rob and I can't allow him to have his way in every situation. Just this morning we had a talk about how we can't control everything in life, and there will be disappointments--like candy canes sometimes being broken. That's just life. He needs to understand that now because disappointment will be a part of every day! We don't want him thinking the world revolves around him and his wants. We also don't want him running from conflict and hiding when he's upset about things. He can't go hide in his closet and cry whenever something doesn't go his way.

Here's the but. But, I do see more in this. He is not using crying as manipulation in these cases. It's not the kind of tantrum where he's acting out to get his way. Yes, he wants his way. But he's crying and running away because these situations are more than he can emotionally handle. He isn't trying to get us to come in his room after him, soothe him and give him what he wants. He genuinely wants to be alone and cry.

The dilemma I'm having is how we can help teach and train him that he isn't going to always get his way and that life is full of disappointment. But I also do want to be sensitive and not squelch God-given emotions--I don't want to raise a boy that thinks he can't cry or that he has to stuff everything and pretend it's okay. I don't want him to remove himself from hard situations, but it's normal and natural to be upset about things.

And with the food it's kind of the same thing--he will not have a life full of perfectly cut sandwiches or waffles and unbroken crackers. He needs to know this now. But he also may have some kind of God-given penchant toward order, toward wholeness, in the same way that some people are naturally messy and some are ordered. I believe there is training involved--you can help train your messy child to pick up. You won't ever be able to train them to be a different kid, though. They'll be a messy kid who has learned discipline. Does that distinction make sense?

So I am wondering how to handle these situations in ways that do two things:

1. Teach Saw that life is not about HIM. It will not always--and, in fact, will not MOST OF THE TIME--be HIS way. (And also as kind of a part B to this, teach him that running away from hard things is not the answer.)

2. Teach him that it's okay to have desires that are specific to him and it's okay to have emotions.

I guess what I want to make sure I'm doing is not fostering a sense of selfishness in him that allows him to think and act like it all revolves around him. But I want to do that without teaching him that crying is something guys can't do or that there is something inherently wrong about desiring particular things to be a particular way.

This is a long post and I'm not sure I'm expressing everything well. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Stories from your life--whether your upbringing or in training your own kids? I'd love to hear from you!